Tuesday, December 29, 2009

'Twas the night before Christmas...

...and all through the House, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Unfortunately, over in the Senate, things were a wee bit different, and they passed their own version of a "health care reform bill," which in reality is a bill that does NOT fix any problems in health care, is mostly unknown to the Senators that voted for it, pushes our country deeper into socialism, is opposed by a majority of Americans, hurts small businesses, and is probably unconstitutional. I'm really hoping that, if this becomes law, the Supreme Court can pull their head out and say, "No, you can't just throw down a tax on people that do things in a way you don't like." Like a tax of $1,500 on anyone choosing not to carry health insurance. That's insane. The tax code is for generating revenue, it's not a punitive weapon.

They needed 60 votes to do it. In order to get the 60 votes, they added special languages to the bill for Mary Landrieu's state, Louisiana, and Bill Nelson's state, Nebraska. Essentially, these are several hundred million dollar bribes, paid for by the American people. Nebraskans don't seem to be too happy about it, despite the windfall. Senator Nelson has an uphill battle ahead of him in 2012 for his shenanigans.

I'll have a definitive rant (for those of you weirdos that come to our blog to hear me rant) about health care sometime later this week. But, barring some kind of miracle, we're probably hosed.

Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 14, 2009

The Writing Is On The Wall

I think once you do some linear regressions on this, identify the trends, and all the other statistical mumbo jumbo you normally do to a data set, this will actually spell out the word FAIL. ;-)

Of course, maybe he's trying to follow golf great Tiger Woods' lead and get ridiculously low scores. Someone should tell him that low scores in this game are bad. Also, if he's following Tiger, he's gonna end up a lot more like Clinton than Lincoln.

I don't see that happening though. It's hard to sneak a teleprompter into a hotel without anybody noticing.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Inside Jokes

Inside jokes are the glue that hold a relationship together. And the more you have, the better. Well, actually, there's probably an upper limit beyond which your relationship becomes a gooey mess. But I haven't reached it yet.

With that, here are a few of our inside jokes we want to share - mostly so we don't forget them.

"Forgive me please!"

It was late at night, and Ashley did something she felt the need to apologize for. Most likely, it was something insignificant. But, since it was late, she skipped the apology and went straight on into getting forgiveness, and with a huge smile yelled "Forgive me please!" It stuck. :)

"I've taken a dagger to the butt!"

Apparently, I'm not as good a masseuse as I think I am... ;)

"You're cute!" *smack*

So, another late night some time ago, Ashley told me that I was cute. Then she pushed my forehead backwards for no reason. So I did it right back to her. And now, whenever we tell each other that we're cute, the smack inevitably follows. Sometimes, we even do it over instant messages.

"You're taking away my agency!"

So, during a trip to Houston, I did a lot of studying and thinking about the idea of agency, and Ashley and I talked about it all the way home. I think that's where it came from, anyway. A week or two later, we started saying things to each other like "Why are you taking away my agency?" "I'm taking away your agency." "May I take away your agency?" whenever there's some sort of persuasion / compulsion / whatever going on. The latest was this exchange:

Ashley: "You're taking away my agency!"

David: "And you're taking away my agency to take away your agency!"

"What else can I take?"

One night after Ashley's hip injury, she had to take like 6 different types of medicine. Pain medication, muscle relaxant, allergy medication, NyQuil, birth control, and maybe something else. She was nearly asleep on the couch, and after I brought her all her medicine, she was like, "What else can I take?" Instant classic.

"Note to self: no more curry vomit box."

This one comes from last night. We were on a date, including dinner at the China Cafe, followed by The Blind Side. Both are excellent, and I highly recommend them. Anyway, I had the curry chicken (which is fantastic), but couldn't finish. With these portion sizes, few people could. Anyway, we left our boxes in the car, and when we got back in after the movie, the car smelled like curry. I didn't mind. Ashley said she was going to vomit, several times. So, I attempted to say something to the effect of, "Okay, I won't get a box when I have curry anymore." Somehow, the word "takeout" turned into "vomit." We laughed all the way home.

"I'm too tired for my body!"

I'm not at liberty to discuss this one right now. Maybe if you all put some pressure on Ashley, I can divulge some information. :) It's good.

Anyway, that's all! Stay tuned for Christmas pictures!

Monday, November 30, 2009

George Is Still Running

For all you disappointed fans in red out there:

You lost. Get over it. And even if you had won, you wouldn't be any closer to digging yourself out of the shambles of a life that has you cheering for a pathetic bunch of sackless sissies as a defense mechanism.

Remember, repentance is a true principle, even for you guys. It's hard, but it always feels better when it's complete.

Now, as for these guys...

..there may be no hope, except to wind up on a poster sometime soon. At least in 2006, the hapless defenders had the good sense to get completely out of the picture.

Thanks to the Photoshop Laureate of BYU, SnarrWars, for the "still running" images.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Videos of Bella

Here are SEVERAL videos that we have taken in the past several weeks. We're finally getting around to posting them! ;P

Bella vs. Tail

Bella's reaction to her new hand-me-down clothes.

Bella vs. Ice cube

David trying to get her to dance. (stand on her back legs...idk, he thinks it's cool) lol

Looking for the lost bone buried in the couch.

Sorry if I bored you will all these videos...she's just so darn cute!!!

Monday, October 26, 2009


I've taken a million pics of Bella in the past couple weeks. I just haven't had time to post them :P Here are some that I tried to take with the computer. Not many came out cute. lol I kept getting butthole in every shot ;D More to come later. Anyway, enjoy!

P.S. After a lot of hard work and many accidents we are finally starting to see some results with the potty training. ;D


So, we've been tagged by Ryan and Mandy. I don't know what this means, other than that the person that tags you thinks by virtue of the fact that they can type "I tag So and So" on their blog, they can compel them to answer random and trivial questions on their own blog. The unmitigated gall...


In the mashed-up words of an impersonated Sean Connery, "I'll play your game, you rogue..." but "...I'll not pay this fine, you curd, it's unjust!"

1. Name three types of people who should qualify for forced labor camps.

David: 1) Communists/Marxists/Stalinists/Maoists. You live your dream, let me live mine. 2) Fashion designers. One of the most despicable lies perpetrated on our society is the one that gets people to choose a $500 pair of pants over a $10 pair. 3) BCS apologists. The BCS is ruining a sport that, if it had a playoff, would be pure, perfect, and sacred, and you are in favor of this? It's the gulag for you!

Ashley: I don't care

(Ashley had a much funnier answer that was inappropriate to post)

Bella: 1) The inventor of the kennel, 2) The vet, 3) The blanket David keeps trapping me in

2. What was the last thing you ate?

David: 6 vanilla cream cookies

Ashley: Ice

Bella: A doggy treat

3. What’s a goal you have?

David: Create an economic simulator that simulates a large number of short-sighted agents acting on microeconomic rules, which demonstrates emergent macroeconomic behavior for the whole that is similar to what leading macroeconomic theory would predict.

Ashley: Graduate nursing school.

Bella: Go a whole day without peeing in my kennel.

4. What do you think of entertainment awards shows?

David: <vomit>

Ashley: Cute to watch people's outfits, but I don't care about the awards.

Bella: As long as I can snuggle, I like to watch them.

5. How do you want to die?

David: After Ashley, so she doesn't get mad that I left her. ;)

Ashley: In bed, peacefully, holding David's hand.

Bella: With a treat in my mouth.

6. What is your favorite vacation/get-away spot? Where will you be traveling next?

David: Vacation/get-away: Thanksgiving Day turkey bowls. Next: Commuting home.

Ashley: Vacation/get-away: New Zealand. Next: To school to pay a parking ticket.

Bella: Vacation/get-away: The guest bedroom. Next: The back yard.

7. How do you pronounce “gyro?”

David: Euro. Very tasty when done right. :)

Ashley: Jai-ro? Guy-ro? I guess guy-ro? How are you supposed to pronounce it?

Bella: Ruff!

8. What have you found entertaining lately?

David: This.

Ashley: Bella and Everyone Loves Raymond. Or Happy Aquarium? Can I put all three?

Bella: Licking Ashley's face.

9. Do you follow any blogs of nondescript people who you don't know? Why do you follow those blogs?

David: No. I barely have time to follow my own.

Ashley: Yes. Diabetes Sweeties. I have a 2-year-old cousin that's diabetic, and I want to see if there is any helpful information.

Bella: Sorry, I don't have opposable thumbs.

10. What would you use a time machine for?

David: Arbitrary time travel is impossible. Assuming, however, that it is possible and avoids all of the obvious problems inherent in time travel, I'd go back in time I tell myself that dating during my time at BYU would be a completely pointless and unrewarding experience and to just skip it and get the most out of my education. That, or I'd kill my younger self so I could see what a temporal paradox looks like.

Ashley: To go back and be nicer to David.

Bella: To get Ashley and David home from work faster.

11. What are your favorite restaurants?

David: Tucanos, Olive Garden, Arby's.

Ashley: Taco Cabana, Wok-aholic, Gatti's Pizza, Pancho's.

Bella: Ashley's Pantry Buffet.

12. What actors should be barred from acting?

David: Hayden Christensen and everyone that had any role in Big Trouble in Little China Town. Oh, and Drew Barrymore, definitely.

Ashley: Miley Cyrus, and Barack Obama, because all he does is act.

Bella: Taco Bell Chihuahua - he's got nothing on me!

13. What’s the last book you read?

David: Glenn Beck's Arguing with Idiots.

Ashley: The Book of Mormon.

Bella: War and Peace.

14. What’s the last movie you enjoyed?

David: Enjoyed? Meaning what, saw? Over the Hedge. Thought was worth the money? Up. Thought was freaking awesome? The Dark Knight. Laughed myself silly at? Spider-man 3. (The Boy and I saw that one together, and with our long history of emo-bashing, it was just perfect comedy for us. Wow.) You have to specify.

Ashley: Twitches.

Bella: Also Twitches.

15. Reveal something that really bothers you.

David: People who feel entitled to a share of my time and/or money. Right now, the homeowner's association comes to mind. I pay you $35 a month to tell me how to cut my grass and what I can do with my property? Wow, what a privilege. This is the United freaking States of America. Step off. I'm also in freaking Texas, so... Step off or I'll blow you away.

Ashley: When I have to give report IN THE PATIENT'S ROOM!

Bella: Being locked in the kennel.

16. What will it say on your gravestone?

David: Get off my lawn.

Ashley: If the grave is a rockin', don't come a knockin'!

Bella: Best Dog Ever.

17. Put your iPod on shuffle and list the first three songs that come up, then explain yourself.

David: I don't have an iPod, but if I did... 1. The Greatest Man That Ever Lived, Weezer. 2. The Greatest Man That Ever Lived, Weezer. 3. The Greatest Man That Ever Lived, Weezer. No explanation needed.

Ashley: I don't have an iPod either, but I can tell you what's stuck in my head. 1. Party in the USA, Miley Cyrus. 2. Hide and Seek, Imogen Heap. 3. Replay, IYAZ feat. Sean Kingston. They're catchy.

Bella: Which one's the shuffle button?

18. What is the biggest mistake you have ever made?

David: I don't make mistakes. But if I did... ;) It would be dating at BYU. Complete waste of time and effort. I had midterm exams FAR more enjoyable than that.

Ashley: I cannot disclose that information.

Bella: Farting in Ashley's ear a couple of minutes ago.

19. What kind of toppings do you generally request for your pizza?

David: Double pineapple.

Ashley: Pepperoni and extra cheese.

Bella: Kibble?

20. Who/what would you love to have complete control over?

David: The passage of time.

Ashley: The way the healthcare system is run.

Bella: My bladder.

21. What does your ideal Saturday consist of?

David: Nothing but college football; BYU victory required.

Ashley: No alarm clock, sleeping in, the house being perfectly clean, cuddling, and watching movies.

Bella: Chasing my tug toy round and round and round, and sleeping.

22. What is one skill you lack completely but wish you could master with the snap of your fingers?

David: Hmmm... Either car repair or guitar shredding. Depends if I'm feeling practical or not.

Ashley: Cooking. (Not going to the bathroom every 20 minutes was a close second.)

Bella: Again, the bladder control thing... I'm working on it!

23. What's something you live in constant fear of?

David: Nothing. Fear lives in constant fear of me.

Ashley: Ghosts.

Bella: Loud noises.

24. What was the first album you listened to non-stop, over and over again?

David: Nine Days, The Madding Crowd.

Ashley: Britney Spears, Baby One More Time.

Bella: I'm 3 months old, I haven't had a chance for that yet!

25. Have you ever seen a live, wild rat? How about a dead one?

David: Yes and yes. I lived in Uruguay for two years, I've seen a lot of things live and wild and dead. And rotting.

Ashley: Yes. Yes.

Bella: No. No.

26. What thing have you most aggressively promoted?

David: Common sense and the 9/12 Project.

Ashley: I don't really promote anything (except continence in my patients).

Bella: PETA. ;)

27. Is there a band or musical trend you would love to see erased completely?

David: EFY music.

Ashley: Devil Rock music.

Bella: Those ultrasonic whistles? Not funny, people. Not funny.

28. If you had to describe yourself using 3 words, what would they be?

David: Smartest. Man. Ever. ;) Just kidding. I feel no need to describe myself. Either you know me and need no description, or don't and no description will suffice. The greatest of men simply do their best and leave the descriptions to history, and I find that kind of humility inspiring.

Ashley: Loving, honest, fun.

Bella: Brown, small, chihuahua.

29. Where is the last place that you'd see yourself living?

David: America's cesspool, Washington, D.C.

Ashley: With Northerners.

Bella: Upstairs (they never let me up there).

30. What was the last video you enjoyed on the internet?

David: See question 8 above.

Ashley: Same as David.

Bella: Same as Ashley.

31. What is your favorite smoothie combination?

David: Jamba Juice's Coldbuster. Nothing like 3100% RDA of Vitamin C to ward off a cold, or give you a boost of energy. That was my coffee in college. :)

Ashley: Columbian jugo de fresa.

Bella: Sometimes I mix my food with my water... Mmmm!

32. What is the worst thing that has ever happened to your car?

David: Failed master cylinder for the clutch right before a test in a blizzard. I'm not sure how I got that car to campus and back, because shifting gears was nearly impossible and involved pumping the clutch pedal repeatedly, but I did. Cost over $900 to fix.

Ashley: There are two. First, I lost my brakes completely while I was lost downtown and had to run stop signs. Second, I had a short in my horn, so it would randomly honk and people would look at me funny.

Bella: I can't even get a license...

33. What album have you been listening to most?

David: Weezer, self-titled Red Album.

Ashley: I just listen to the radio on the way to work, 96.7 FM.

Bella: Whatever Ashley listens to.

34. What clues you into a person's idiocy?

David: Texans for Obama bumper stickers. If you have the good sense and luck to actually live in Texas, you shouldn't blow it all to heck by supporting Obama.

Ashley: When they talk slowly. Or when they drive slowly. Basically, just doing things slowly.

Bella: When people talk to me like I can understand them. I just look at them in a way that says, "I'm a dog. I don't get your funny human language."

35. What is your favorite store to wander through?

David: newegg.com. All the toys I want, and I don't have to actually wander through the freaking store. If you want a brick and mortar store, it's Fry's Electronics.

Ashley: Kohl's, Target, or Hannah D's.

Bella: Petco.

Ashley tags her mom and her friend Mindy.

David tags nobody.

Bella tags the dog next door that always barks when she tries to take a dump.

Monday, October 19, 2009

White House Urges Other Networks to Disregard Fox News - Political News - FOXNews.com

White House Urges Other Networks to Disregard Fox News - Political News - FOXNews.com

Posted using ShareThis

Dear friends and family,

I know this is a family blog, and I probably put too much politically oriented stuff on here as it is. When I do, I try to present the facts as I know them and believe them to be true, and maybe provide you with tools to act accordingly if you so choose. I don't try to push an opinion on you, compel you to action, or anything of the sort. After all, this is a blog - what power do I really have?

Well, today it's different. I'm wishing I had more power than this simple blog gives me, because something evil is happening as I write, and I need your help. It's probably been going on for a long time, but where it used to be moving along at the pace of a fat guy on a tricycle, it's now accelerated to that of a fat guy on a tricycle with a rocket strapped to his back. It's fast, it's wild, it's uncontrollable, it's unpredictable, and it's wrong on so many levels. (Will somebody PLEASE think of the poor fat guy?!?) Hopefully it's not unstoppable, because we need to stop it immediately.

Here's the problem, which you can read about in the article I posted above. Over the weekend, the White House began singling out FOX News, claiming they are an organ of the Republican party. They then began encouraging other news outlets (who, in my humble opinion and in that of the Pew Research Center, could be accused of the same thing for the Democrats) to isolate and alienate FOX News. Sounds like no big deal, right?

Well, it's not. It is a huge deal. The freedom of the press to report what it wants, however it wants to, is fundamental to the maintenance of our freedoms and our republic. It is preserved as the First Amendment to the Constitution. Without a free press that does its job, the citizenry has no mechanism to find out what their representatives are doing and hold them accountable for it. Past administrations and legislatures have been annoyed with the scrutiny they receive from the press, but have never stooped to this level. President George W. Bush had some of the worst press coverage I have ever seen or read about, and rarely even attempted to defend himself from their allegations, let alone go on the offensive. That's because George W. Bush respected the office of the Presidency and the dignity that comes with it, as well as the importance of the free press and the role they play in a free society. Say what you will about Bush, but the man was dedicated to freedom, both here and abroad.

In contrast, the Obama administration seems to be attacking a news organization on the sole basis that he doesn't like what their editorial staff is producing, and is not only trying to claim they are not a news organization, but is also trying to get their peers to turn on them. (This will no doubt please Keith Olbermann, who claims that he has the highest rated cable news show - as long as you exclude every single program on FOX News.) It would be funny, if it weren't so frightening and downright dangerous, and this is why - when the government can give orders to the press, and the press follows them, your freedom is already dead.

Let me repeat that.

When the government can give orders to the press, and the press follows them, your freedom is already dead.

I understand this is just the very beginning (well, I hope it is, anyway, though I fear it isn't), and none of the news outlets have indicated a willingness to participate yet, and I hold out hope that they don't. But the consequences of something like this being allowed by the American people are extremely grave. I recommend George Orwell's 1984 as an excellent illustration of the extremes that a government that owns the media can go to, and pretty much without opposition. However, we don't even have to go into the realm of fiction to see the results of state-run media. The Soviet Union and their party-run newspaper, Pravda, worked in tandem. Indeed, Pravda was central in Stalin's creation of a cult of personality, which, among other things, enabled him to execute millions of people without a challenge to his power. China's state-run media and internet censorship perform a similar role for the communist party there. Iran also enjoys the benefits of state-controlled media. How else do you get an entire population to hate the United States - the most charitable nation on the face of the planet - besides propaganda? Hitler's rise to power was achieved using his speeches and the media to gin up anti-Semitic fervor, and utilized his Brown Shirts to intimidate and repress political parties, dissenting views, and "inferior" races. Hugo Chavez has used his power to destroy media outlets that he doesn't like, in his own pursuit of a socialist utopia. Totalitarian regimes are never established without either the complete support of the military or the press, and usually require both.

That's the very danger we are in right now if we don't do something. "Are you saying that Obama wants to set himself up as a dictator?! That's crazy!" You know what? I hope it is crazy. I hope it's the most ridiculous claim in the history of the world, because I love this country and the freedom it grants to its citizens and the force for good it is throughout the entire world. I want there to be another explanation for this series of moves, but I can't think of one, and that's what's scary. Here's some more pieces of the puzzle, incase you think I'm being an alarmist on this one:

1) Why does Obama need a civilian defense force, as well funded as the military? What are they going to protect us from? FOX News?

2) Mark Lloyd, Obama's appointee to the FCC, which regulates the airwaves, approves of Chavez' repression of the media in Venezuela. Why? And why did the Senate confirm him? If he believes these things, why is he in charge of the FCC?

3) If FOX News' reporting is not accurate, why does the White House need help from other news organizations to silence them? Why can they not simply refute whatever untruths are being spread via their website, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC, NPR, The New York Times, or The Washington Post? Especially when Anita Dunn, part of the White House, claims that they control the media?

Now, here's what I ask. Please read the article, and watch the two videos. You can mute Glenn Beck's analysis on the second one if you don't like him, just read the words Mark Lloyd says in the beginning. Now, if you enjoy freedom, I'm guessing that, with those things combined, you're either scared or angry - or possibly both. I know I am. I have been for a while, but for me, this was just the icing on the cake. I love my country and my freedom, and I have to do what little I can do to help preserve them both, and I hope you will, too. Once you know the information, and are aware of the imminent danger, please:

1) Come back here and prove me wrong if you can. I want to be wrong. I really do.

2) Pass this on to everyone you know. You don't need to use my words or link to my blog or give me credit in any way. But get this information on your blog, your Facebook, your Twitter, and your Myspace. Email it to everyone you know. Text it to everyone you know. Knock doors in your neighborhood. Everyone needs to know what's going on.

3) Act! The time has come for us all to be a lot more involved in politics. I know you don't want to be - I sure don't. It's nasty stuff. But our government has assumed powers it was never meant to have, and as we can see that has become dangerous. It nearly brought down our economy, and it could yet bring down our economy, our individual freedom, and even our national sovereignty. (You didn't hear about that? Seems like something a state-run press would be reluctant to tell you...) We need to elect people at all levels of government who will be willing to nothing other than trim this beast back to the limits the Constitution set forth. And to do that, you need to be involved at the primary election and caucus level. By the time it gets to the general election, and you have to choose between two equally bad candidates, it's too late.

4) Organize! This needs to be a united effort, and there are several organizations out there that are starting to come together to help make our voices known. Get involved with your local tea party group. Join a group like the 9/12 Project or Resistnet.com, and be involved locally.

5) Stay informed! This is hard with a state-controlled media, but there are ways. I encourage everyone to listen to, watch, or read Glenn Beck. He is leading the charge, and I believe him to be the most honest source of information out there. He never asks you to trust him, and provides sources for everything - if he can't, he won't report it. He admits when he is wrong. He is trustworthy, and it shows in his ratings, because I know America is sick of being lied to.

Thanks for your help and understanding,


P.S. Stay tuned for your regularly scheduled program, complete with cute puppy pictures and funny stories.

P.P.S. If this blog disappears, or you don't hear from me for awhile, then we have all the more reason to worry. Google, which runs Blogger, is a very left-leaning organization, and if my worst fears are true, will be doing as much as they can to further a left-leaning agenda as they can without being noticed.

Saturday, October 3, 2009


Here is the newest member of the Merriman family! :) Her name is Bella. She will be 8 weeks old on Sunday. She is a sweety. She loves to cuddle and chase David around the house. Here are a couple pics of the car ride home...

David and Bella falling asleep during conference.

Her new bedroom...

Attacking her new bed... ;P Cute!!!

David put her right to sleep...

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Late Show With David Merriman!

What, you were expecting Letterman? ;)

Here's the highlights from last night:

David: That's what I love about you, Ashley - if you don't get a joke, you just make up your own and laugh at that!

Ashley: [hysterical laughter, for a good 30 seconds] That's funny!

David: Yes, but do you know why?

Ashley: [hysterical laughter, for a good minute or two]

And she never answered the question. I promise you this: marry someone with ADD, and you will never have a dull moment.

And now for tonight's Top Ten List! Tonight, it's "Top Ten Things Ashley Might Have Been Laughing About Last Night"

10. The half-episode of House she just watched

9. Birthday music from India

8. My claim to be on the bleeding edge of fashion

7. fart-sounds.net

6. Flash games

5. Fatigue

4. Chingo bling

3. Air

2. The fact that she had just hugged me and got toothpaste on my chest

1. Absolutely nothing

That's it! Goodnight everybody!

P.S. Everything on that list is something that she has actually laughed at recently, except maybe air. No, wait. She's definitely done that one. Nevermind. ;)

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Ashley's Weather Forecast

I tell you what, when I'm sleepy I tell the best jokes! Well, technically it didn't start out as a joke. I was pondering out loud before falling asleep, "I wonder what the weather will be like during the Second Coming...probably partly cloudy..." Then I got it! Get it?! PARTLY CLOUDY?! MEANING THE CLOUDS WILL PART?!!??!?! I'm freaking amazing you guys!!! I crack myself up! You can't tell me that wasn't good! lol David doesn't think it is, but I know that he's just mad because he didn't think of it first! I love me. ;P (David is still just shaking his head right now) 

Thank you, and goodnight ladies and gentleman. hahahhahahahah! (yes, I am sleep deprived)

Sunday, August 23, 2009


For those of you who don't know me, I have belonephobia (fear of needles....a word I just learned). :P It's not so much the needle I'm afraid of, because I'm okay with shots, it's the thought of a needle being inside my vein. Anyway, lately I've been more and more curious about how to start an IV and how to draw blood. I've watched both a million times at work. When I actually caught myself WANTING to try it, I freaked out! That is a huge step for me!!! So I decided I needed to act on that, before I change my mind lol, and take a phlebotomy class. So, I did this weekend. It was a 16 hour class, so we started poking on the first day! Talk about crash course! At the beginning of the first day of class, we had to sign a consent form that stated we would draw other peoples blood and allow others to draw our blood AN UNLIMITED AMOUNT OF TIMES for the purpose of learning. As I was signing this form, my neighbors were chuckling because I was shaking my head and mumbling "I can't believe I'm doing this...." lol I still kinda in shock that I took the class.... Anyway, I survived and only had to be poked 3 times. I am a pretty easy stick because I'm so white, I'm clear! lol Here's a pic of what my arms look like two days later. (they looked worse yesterday)

The bruise on MY left arm (right in the pic) was a lot worse. The next day the teacher walked around making sure everybody's arms were okay and documented who had bruises etc. She announced to the class that my arm was the worst. lol So everybody had to come over to me and check out my arms lol. I felt bad because usually that is a sign that the "poker" did a bad job, but the girl who poked me didn't do too bad. She just went in way too slow, so blood squirted in the air. :P I was just worried someone was would either blow my vein or go fishing for it-which is a no no. There were a couple people that I watched that got nervous in the middle of the stick and let go of the needle (which is super bad) and who went in at one angle and then changed angles while the needle was still inside (also super super bad). Several more people got nervous and pulled the needle out before taking off the tourniquet, which results in blood squirting or gushing out. Another problem people had was pushing the needle a little further in or out while trying to change the vials to collect the blood. This can also make the blood squirt or worse, It can blow the vein. I accidently went in a little when I did it the first time, which was uncomfortable for the person I stuck, but I didn't blow the vein or squirt. Thank goodness... The class was fun though. It felt SO good when I successfully got blood on my first poke!!! Not to brag or anything, but David is making me add that I got a perfect score on the written exam. :) I was surprised I did so well because we had to memorize so much. Like all the different types of tubes with different colored caps which meant different additives in them which means they are for performing different tests...AND the order of draw- meaning which tubes of blood have to be filled first so they don't contaminate each other. I think my fear of needles is almost gone! I can't lie and say that I like getting poked, but I sure do like poking other people! ;D

No End In Sight

So, something short, but really funny happened the other night as we were having our family prayer, and I had to share.

As I was getting towards the end of my prayer, Ashley lets go of my hand and turns away. I knew she was really tired, but that was still weird, so after I finished I asked her what was up. She tells me, "There was just no end in sight..." She, of course, remembers none of this. But it was hilarious. :-)

Also, I should note that yesterday, when she was blessing the food, she prayed for rain. Two hours later, a thunderstorm appeared out of nowhere, drenched our neighborhood, and disappeared. Now I'm going to have her pray that we win the lottery. :D


So, this is about a week late, but we bought a new car! And by new, I mean NEW new. Brand spankin' new. It had 5 miles on it when we drove it off the lot. :-) It's a 2009 Honda Fit, BYU Blue, and it's awesome. Ashley thinks it's really cute. And with her granddaddy helping us during the negotiations in Houston, we got it pretty much at the invoice price.

Part of the reason we did it now was because the one car thing was just getting ridiculous, with the forgetting of shoes and all... ;-) But really, it is such a nice car, and it has already been so helpful and so useful in helping us get more done, especially when Ashley has to work. I can be home 4 hours before her, clean the house, and have dinner ready when she walks in the door.

This is our first picture with the car after we bought it, out in front of Ashley's family's house. Don't you just love that huge smile on her face? I love it! And I love her! And therefore she has a new car. :D

Here's an action photo taken by Ashley's mom as we drove back to Austin on I-10. Don't worry, we went slowly and carefully.

Here it is in the garage, from the front...

...and from the side...

...and in the driveway...

Here we have our two cars. Poor Groundskeeper Willy 2 (that's the Camry) is going to have to give up his spot in the garage, but hopefully he'll get along with his new, nameless friend. I'm trying to get Ashley to name the Fit, but she claims girls don't name cars.

Whatever. ;-)

Here's the front seat. It's a small car, but it's amazing how much room is inside.

Here's the steering wheel and dash. It's awesome. It looks like a Star Trek bridge, only cooler. The gauges light up all blue and the needle glows red. It's nice. Also, you can't see them too well, but there are paddle shifters on the steering column. That means, you can drive it like an automatic if you want. If you don't, you can put it in "Sport" mode, and shift manually with the paddles. But you don't have to worry about the clutch; it's all handled electronically! Too bad it's only got a 4-cylinder engine - a V6 would be freaking AWESOME with that. Also, the radio has a display that tells you what station you're on, what song is playing, and who sings it, for any FM radio station.

Despite being a small car, the back seat actually has a lot of room! I can sit back there comfortably. But that's not all...

You can also fold the seat bottoms up, if you need to put something tall in there. The seats also have storage underneath them, too. There's a crazy amount of storage space in this thing! But wait! There's more!

The seats also fold down flat with the deck! Like this, there's a lot more storage space, especially for something bulky, than we have in the Camry, which is a much bigger car.

And now for the obligatory picture of me posing with the car...

And look at this hottie posing with it! :D I have to admit, she looks WAY better in my pajamas than I do.

Anyway, that's our new Honda Fit, and we love it.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Call CPS

So, today we had to have the water softener people come over to check our water softener out, because our water wasn't soft anymore. When I open the door, he says to me, "Are your parents home?" I kinda blinked a couple times, and I was like, "Ummm... no... I'm the owner of this house..." He didn't apologize or anything, he just said, "Oh." I should have said, "No, are yours?" Or, "I don't know, they live in Houston, do you want me to check?" When I told David what happened, he said, "Great, he's going to call CPS and they're going to take my WIFE away." The rest of the time he was here he didn't say anything, and it was really awkward. lol Do I really look that young?

Thursday, August 13, 2009

You forgot WHAT?

So, my commute to work today took me about an hour and a half. Why's that? Well, just as we were about to drive up to the hospital to drop Ashley off for work, she informs me that she's forgotten something, and that I need to go back and get it for her.

That something? Her shoes.

I don't know how you walk out the door without your shoes on. I don't even like going in the garage with just my socks on, the floor's pretty nasty right now. But no shoes?! Seriously? I guess that's what happens when we have to get up before 6 for 3 days straight.

I sure do love her, though. I went back, burned probably 2 gallons of gas and $4 in toll road charges, got the shoes, delivered them, and got in to work at 8:00. And I was happy to do it.

She'll never live it down, though. :D That's what blogs are for. Mwahahaha!

Friday, August 7, 2009

!!!Que onda wey!!!

I love this video! Ryan, does this bring back any memories from your mission? hahah This video SO reminds me of my mexican ex-boyfriend...wow... For those of you who don't know me very well, I used to think I was mexicana. Actually, I was. There will always be a part of me that is :) I <3 this song! Enjoy!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Worst. Lyrics. Ever.

I hereby nominate Kanye West for the dubious distinction of writing the worst song lyrics to have ever been written by mankind. I dare say ALL of our blues night lyrics in 222 - despite the fact that almost all of them involved rhyming "blue" and "poo" - were Shakespearean sonnets by comparison. Are you ready for this? Here it is:

Tell me now can you make it past your caspers

So we can finally fly off into NASA?

Kanye West, Knock You Down

Now, I could have put all his lyrics from this three artist effort in as the submission, but honestly, these two lines were all I needed. Also, they were profane, and this is a family blog. So, how doth this lyric suck? Let me count the ways...

  1. First off, in the context of the verse, this is supposed to be a couplet. A couplet is a pair of lines that rhyme. Caspers and NASA do not rhyme. Even if your English pronunciation is atrocious, they don't rhyme. It doesn't even qualify as slant rhyme. And you might claim that caspers was supposed to rhyme with past, but that's crap, because if so something similar would have been done in the second line - which we'll get to in a moment. There's no rhyme. The next two lines are a couplet, suggesting that the artist knows how to do them. Unfortunately, this attempt is an epic failure.
  2. A couplet is also supposed to have the same meter. Meter in poetry is the rhythmic structure. I would do an analysis of the meter here, but not only do the lines not have the same meter, there's no discernable poetic meter in either of them! I tried to figure it out, and it was a complete waste of time.
  3. I know, I know, meter and rhyme is no longer required for something to be called poetry (which is retarded, but unfortunately true in our retarded society). However, both are still very important for music, and even more important still in rap music. Since you don't have a melody to tie the lyrics into a song with rap, you really on rhyme and rhythm to do it. In fact, many rappers often rap about their ability to rhyme and having rhythm. (A discussion about how including your own name in a song automatically makes it suck is beyond the scope of this essay.) Because this rap lyric has no rhyme, no meter, and hence, no rhythm, it doubly sucks. You could get away with this in the verse of a country song, maybe, but as the lead-off couplet of a rap verse? WOW. Epic failure.
  4. Now let's get to content. I want to get the obvious out of the way right now. "Fly off into NASA?" That makes NO SENSE! You want to fly off into the National Aeronautics and Space Administration? You want to fly off into a government agency? Huh? NASA != space! NASA is not even a place, it's an abstract organization with locations throughout the United States, including Cape Canaveral, Florida and Houston, Texas, among several others. Now, I guess you might use NASA as a metaphor for space, if you needed NASA for the rhyme. But we've clearly established that YOU DON'T! RETARDED!
  5. Caspers? I'm guessing this is a substitute for ghosts, which are a metaphor that haunt someone that's scared of the future because of past events. However, I've got problems with it. First, Casper is a name, not a ghost. It has many uses besides that of a name for a ghost, including a city in Wyoming. However, even as the name of a ghost, it should be noted that the full title of the ghost is "Casper the Friendly Ghost." Ashley is deathly afraid of ghosts, and yet I have witnessed her watching a Casper the Friendly Ghost movie without any problems! Maybe that doesn't seem to matter, but think about it: if the reason for using Casper was as a substitute for ghost, for a metaphor as I explained above, the fact that Casper is a friendly ghost completely destroys the very metaphor you were attempting to create!
  6. Let's put it all together now. So, you're singing about someone that needs to get past their friendly memories so that you can figuratively fly off together into a government agency with no specific locality? Holy crap, that sucks! Why do they need to get past their friendly memories? Why do you need to go to NASA? What do either of those to things mean in the context of a love song? And why does this keep getting airtime on my radio?!
  7. This song is a three person effort, and you still have crap like this in it? I'd have better luck with three monkeys on typewriters... Maybe that old joke about monkeys, typewriters, and Shakespeare should be updated to include hip-hop artists...
Wake up, people. I could similarly destroy most of the rest of this song, as well, but it's not worth my time. Is this really all you need to be a millionaire recording artist? Because I can write crap like this in my sleep.

Lest ye doubt me, observe how easy it is for me to change very little of this lyric to make it rhyme, make the lines have similar meter, and preserve the intended-yet-poorly-executed meaning of the original. Behold:

Tell me now, can you make it past your poltergeists

So we can finally fly off into higher heights?

See? Simple. Poltergeists are also ghosts like casper, but they're scary. Higher heights are somewhere you would actually fly to that make sense in the context of the song. In fact, it's somewhere NASA flies off to frequently. That change took me 15 seconds, tops, to think of. Not hard.

Anyway, I'm done. I'd love to hear any suggestions you have for the "Worst. Lyrics. Ever." Award, but you better be able to back it up.

P.S. Pay no attention to the songs in the player to the right. Presence on this blog - with the exception of "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" - does not constitute my approval of the lyrics, message, content, melody, beat, rhythm, meter, rhyme, quality, implications, declarations, or defecations of said songs. In fact, I think some of them (guess which?) are some of the most idiotic ramblings ever recorded by mankind, and can only be called music by such a loose definition as would render the term utterly meaningless. I pick my battles. "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" is on there, which is an excellent song presenting a dizzying variety of musical styles and talents. Also, it's freaking hilarious, and I love it.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Hamilton Pool

I found this place called the Hamilton pool while my family was in town, so I took them. Oh my gosh, it was one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen, especially to swim! It used to be a cave but since the cave collapsed it's just a swimming hole. There is usually a bigger waterfall, but since we're in a drought there wasn't a lot. We packed a picnic lunch, got there at 9am and stayed all day! It was only about a 45min drive. The quarter mile hike to the cave was so beautiful. We took quite a bit of pictures. David didn't go because he was still so burnt from our trip to New Braunfels to float down the river earlier that week. He had blisters all over his chest and stomach. It was pretty bad... He's okay now though :)

Morgan wasn't too happy and wouldn't look at the camera. lol

My mamacita and sister.

The gang.This is robby swimming.

This is a picture off the internet of what the waterfall usually looks like when Texas actually gets rain! Beautiful!