Monday, October 26, 2009


So, we've been tagged by Ryan and Mandy. I don't know what this means, other than that the person that tags you thinks by virtue of the fact that they can type "I tag So and So" on their blog, they can compel them to answer random and trivial questions on their own blog. The unmitigated gall...


In the mashed-up words of an impersonated Sean Connery, "I'll play your game, you rogue..." but "...I'll not pay this fine, you curd, it's unjust!"

1. Name three types of people who should qualify for forced labor camps.

David: 1) Communists/Marxists/Stalinists/Maoists. You live your dream, let me live mine. 2) Fashion designers. One of the most despicable lies perpetrated on our society is the one that gets people to choose a $500 pair of pants over a $10 pair. 3) BCS apologists. The BCS is ruining a sport that, if it had a playoff, would be pure, perfect, and sacred, and you are in favor of this? It's the gulag for you!

Ashley: I don't care

(Ashley had a much funnier answer that was inappropriate to post)

Bella: 1) The inventor of the kennel, 2) The vet, 3) The blanket David keeps trapping me in

2. What was the last thing you ate?

David: 6 vanilla cream cookies

Ashley: Ice

Bella: A doggy treat

3. What’s a goal you have?

David: Create an economic simulator that simulates a large number of short-sighted agents acting on microeconomic rules, which demonstrates emergent macroeconomic behavior for the whole that is similar to what leading macroeconomic theory would predict.

Ashley: Graduate nursing school.

Bella: Go a whole day without peeing in my kennel.

4. What do you think of entertainment awards shows?

David: <vomit>

Ashley: Cute to watch people's outfits, but I don't care about the awards.

Bella: As long as I can snuggle, I like to watch them.

5. How do you want to die?

David: After Ashley, so she doesn't get mad that I left her. ;)

Ashley: In bed, peacefully, holding David's hand.

Bella: With a treat in my mouth.

6. What is your favorite vacation/get-away spot? Where will you be traveling next?

David: Vacation/get-away: Thanksgiving Day turkey bowls. Next: Commuting home.

Ashley: Vacation/get-away: New Zealand. Next: To school to pay a parking ticket.

Bella: Vacation/get-away: The guest bedroom. Next: The back yard.

7. How do you pronounce “gyro?”

David: Euro. Very tasty when done right. :)

Ashley: Jai-ro? Guy-ro? I guess guy-ro? How are you supposed to pronounce it?

Bella: Ruff!

8. What have you found entertaining lately?

David: This.

Ashley: Bella and Everyone Loves Raymond. Or Happy Aquarium? Can I put all three?

Bella: Licking Ashley's face.

9. Do you follow any blogs of nondescript people who you don't know? Why do you follow those blogs?

David: No. I barely have time to follow my own.

Ashley: Yes. Diabetes Sweeties. I have a 2-year-old cousin that's diabetic, and I want to see if there is any helpful information.

Bella: Sorry, I don't have opposable thumbs.

10. What would you use a time machine for?

David: Arbitrary time travel is impossible. Assuming, however, that it is possible and avoids all of the obvious problems inherent in time travel, I'd go back in time I tell myself that dating during my time at BYU would be a completely pointless and unrewarding experience and to just skip it and get the most out of my education. That, or I'd kill my younger self so I could see what a temporal paradox looks like.

Ashley: To go back and be nicer to David.

Bella: To get Ashley and David home from work faster.

11. What are your favorite restaurants?

David: Tucanos, Olive Garden, Arby's.

Ashley: Taco Cabana, Wok-aholic, Gatti's Pizza, Pancho's.

Bella: Ashley's Pantry Buffet.

12. What actors should be barred from acting?

David: Hayden Christensen and everyone that had any role in Big Trouble in Little China Town. Oh, and Drew Barrymore, definitely.

Ashley: Miley Cyrus, and Barack Obama, because all he does is act.

Bella: Taco Bell Chihuahua - he's got nothing on me!

13. What’s the last book you read?

David: Glenn Beck's Arguing with Idiots.

Ashley: The Book of Mormon.

Bella: War and Peace.

14. What’s the last movie you enjoyed?

David: Enjoyed? Meaning what, saw? Over the Hedge. Thought was worth the money? Up. Thought was freaking awesome? The Dark Knight. Laughed myself silly at? Spider-man 3. (The Boy and I saw that one together, and with our long history of emo-bashing, it was just perfect comedy for us. Wow.) You have to specify.

Ashley: Twitches.

Bella: Also Twitches.

15. Reveal something that really bothers you.

David: People who feel entitled to a share of my time and/or money. Right now, the homeowner's association comes to mind. I pay you $35 a month to tell me how to cut my grass and what I can do with my property? Wow, what a privilege. This is the United freaking States of America. Step off. I'm also in freaking Texas, so... Step off or I'll blow you away.

Ashley: When I have to give report IN THE PATIENT'S ROOM!

Bella: Being locked in the kennel.

16. What will it say on your gravestone?

David: Get off my lawn.

Ashley: If the grave is a rockin', don't come a knockin'!

Bella: Best Dog Ever.

17. Put your iPod on shuffle and list the first three songs that come up, then explain yourself.

David: I don't have an iPod, but if I did... 1. The Greatest Man That Ever Lived, Weezer. 2. The Greatest Man That Ever Lived, Weezer. 3. The Greatest Man That Ever Lived, Weezer. No explanation needed.

Ashley: I don't have an iPod either, but I can tell you what's stuck in my head. 1. Party in the USA, Miley Cyrus. 2. Hide and Seek, Imogen Heap. 3. Replay, IYAZ feat. Sean Kingston. They're catchy.

Bella: Which one's the shuffle button?

18. What is the biggest mistake you have ever made?

David: I don't make mistakes. But if I did... ;) It would be dating at BYU. Complete waste of time and effort. I had midterm exams FAR more enjoyable than that.

Ashley: I cannot disclose that information.

Bella: Farting in Ashley's ear a couple of minutes ago.

19. What kind of toppings do you generally request for your pizza?

David: Double pineapple.

Ashley: Pepperoni and extra cheese.

Bella: Kibble?

20. Who/what would you love to have complete control over?

David: The passage of time.

Ashley: The way the healthcare system is run.

Bella: My bladder.

21. What does your ideal Saturday consist of?

David: Nothing but college football; BYU victory required.

Ashley: No alarm clock, sleeping in, the house being perfectly clean, cuddling, and watching movies.

Bella: Chasing my tug toy round and round and round, and sleeping.

22. What is one skill you lack completely but wish you could master with the snap of your fingers?

David: Hmmm... Either car repair or guitar shredding. Depends if I'm feeling practical or not.

Ashley: Cooking. (Not going to the bathroom every 20 minutes was a close second.)

Bella: Again, the bladder control thing... I'm working on it!

23. What's something you live in constant fear of?

David: Nothing. Fear lives in constant fear of me.

Ashley: Ghosts.

Bella: Loud noises.

24. What was the first album you listened to non-stop, over and over again?

David: Nine Days, The Madding Crowd.

Ashley: Britney Spears, Baby One More Time.

Bella: I'm 3 months old, I haven't had a chance for that yet!

25. Have you ever seen a live, wild rat? How about a dead one?

David: Yes and yes. I lived in Uruguay for two years, I've seen a lot of things live and wild and dead. And rotting.

Ashley: Yes. Yes.

Bella: No. No.

26. What thing have you most aggressively promoted?

David: Common sense and the 9/12 Project.

Ashley: I don't really promote anything (except continence in my patients).

Bella: PETA. ;)

27. Is there a band or musical trend you would love to see erased completely?

David: EFY music.

Ashley: Devil Rock music.

Bella: Those ultrasonic whistles? Not funny, people. Not funny.

28. If you had to describe yourself using 3 words, what would they be?

David: Smartest. Man. Ever. ;) Just kidding. I feel no need to describe myself. Either you know me and need no description, or don't and no description will suffice. The greatest of men simply do their best and leave the descriptions to history, and I find that kind of humility inspiring.

Ashley: Loving, honest, fun.

Bella: Brown, small, chihuahua.

29. Where is the last place that you'd see yourself living?

David: America's cesspool, Washington, D.C.

Ashley: With Northerners.

Bella: Upstairs (they never let me up there).

30. What was the last video you enjoyed on the internet?

David: See question 8 above.

Ashley: Same as David.

Bella: Same as Ashley.

31. What is your favorite smoothie combination?

David: Jamba Juice's Coldbuster. Nothing like 3100% RDA of Vitamin C to ward off a cold, or give you a boost of energy. That was my coffee in college. :)

Ashley: Columbian jugo de fresa.

Bella: Sometimes I mix my food with my water... Mmmm!

32. What is the worst thing that has ever happened to your car?

David: Failed master cylinder for the clutch right before a test in a blizzard. I'm not sure how I got that car to campus and back, because shifting gears was nearly impossible and involved pumping the clutch pedal repeatedly, but I did. Cost over $900 to fix.

Ashley: There are two. First, I lost my brakes completely while I was lost downtown and had to run stop signs. Second, I had a short in my horn, so it would randomly honk and people would look at me funny.

Bella: I can't even get a license...

33. What album have you been listening to most?

David: Weezer, self-titled Red Album.

Ashley: I just listen to the radio on the way to work, 96.7 FM.

Bella: Whatever Ashley listens to.

34. What clues you into a person's idiocy?

David: Texans for Obama bumper stickers. If you have the good sense and luck to actually live in Texas, you shouldn't blow it all to heck by supporting Obama.

Ashley: When they talk slowly. Or when they drive slowly. Basically, just doing things slowly.

Bella: When people talk to me like I can understand them. I just look at them in a way that says, "I'm a dog. I don't get your funny human language."

35. What is your favorite store to wander through?

David: All the toys I want, and I don't have to actually wander through the freaking store. If you want a brick and mortar store, it's Fry's Electronics.

Ashley: Kohl's, Target, or Hannah D's.

Bella: Petco.

Ashley tags her mom and her friend Mindy.

David tags nobody.

Bella tags the dog next door that always barks when she tries to take a dump.