The Merriman Family

Catch The Ball

2010-10-02T16:49:00.003-05:00

Dear BYU receiver corps:

This is Eric Drage. This is the only image I was able to find of Drage in the amount of time I had, which is both sad and illuminating.

I guess I can't blame the Internet for not remembering Eric Drage. He was 6'0", 185 lbs. He wasn't considered fast enough to play at his hometown school, the University of Arizona. He didn't have a professional football career. Even in this picture, he just looks like another small, skinny, slow white kid playing football at BYU.

But this is why the Internet is completely mistaken for not remembering Eric Drage. During his three years of starting at BYU, he caught 162 passes for 3065 yards and 29 touchdowns. He would throw his undersized frame at every pass thrown his way, catchable or not. In high school, he played with broken fingers. At BYU, he played with broken ribs. Eric Drage gave absolutely everything he had on every single play. He NEVER dropped a pass. EVER. He caught every catchable ball thrown his way, and a bunch of the ones that weren't. I have never seen as many sick, disgusting, and amazing catches out of one player than I saw from Drage. Most players would give up on the balls he caught. I watched him have to juggle a high pass three or four times before reeling it in for a TD. I saw him drag himself on the ground underneath a safety to catch a tipped pass. He went after high passes over the middle. He went after passes that would be hopelessly out of bounds or too far ahead of him for mere mortals to catch.

Eric Drage was the epitome of a BYU receiver: slow, undersized, overachieving, determined, fiery, precise, resourceful, and intelligent. And over all else, he caught the freaking ball. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. There's two parts to the equation of Quarterback U. We know plenty about the first part, the quarterback. But equally important in that equation are the receivers, and BYU has always had fantastic receivers. Nothing flashy about them - they just caught the ball, no matter where it was, or whether they were technically a running back, fullback, tight end, or receiver. Too many to name in one post. Guys like Matt Bellini, Ben Cahoon, Kaipo McGuire, Chad Lewis, Itula Mili, Chris Smith, Gordon Hudson, Glen Kozlowski, Tyler Anderson, Reno Mahe, Curtis Brown, and on and on.

Anyway, you who are getting a free college education playing a skill position at BYU would do well to emulate Eric Drage. You have the physical tools to be better than he was. You just need to get your heart and mind into it, on and off the field. And catch the freaking ball.

That is all.

Silhouette Giveaway!

2010-08-04T13:06:00.000-05:00

Want to win a silhouette? Here are the details http://www.sugardoodle.net/joomla/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=6344

I've been using Sugardoodle to prepare for my primary lessons and I stumbled upon this. Good luck!

Ashley's Disorder

2010-05-04T21:19:00.002-05:00

My friends, Ashley has a disorder. She is incapable of drinking an entire glass - be it milk, water, coke, hot chocolate, she doesn't finish. You can always tell which glass is hers after dinner, because there is about a half inch of liquid in the bottom of the glass. (Therefore, I try to find them fast, because when it was milk she was drinking... Nasty.)

This all came to a head last night. She had some root beer, and I was stealing a drink here and there as we were watching House. She got to the point where she was done, and the usual amount was left in the glass. I picked it up to drink a little - I didn't finish it, just in case she wanted more. She was like, "Wait, was there still some in there?" "Yeah." "I swear, I finished it! I swear!" "Nope - you left the usual amount in there. I didn't even finish it, you can check for yourself." To her surprise, there was. She was convinced she had finished it, and even laughed to herself that I was going to be disappointed when I picked up an empty glass.

Even though she is conscious of it, it happened again tonight. It's hilarious! But our question is, is there anyone else out there like this? Or is Ashley the first one with this strange disorder? Let us know!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID!!!

2010-04-04T15:16:00.015-05:00

David's birthday was back in March. The big 27!

He kept saying "Oh, I don't need anything." and "Don't worry about me, just focus on school."

So, I planned a surprise party for him. :)

We are so blessed to have good friends from church.

We have great neighbors across the street who we've become good friends with.

I made everybody wear a party hat and play pin the tail on the donkey. lol We had a lot of fun.

I made Four Cheese Tortellini Shrimp Alfredo. Sounds gross, I know. So I also made Spaghetti with Gnocchis for those with good taste :P It was yummy! We had garlic bread and salad, and then German Chocolate Cake with coconut frosting for dessert.

David won the game! Happy Birthday David. I love you so much!!! (even in your old age...you can't help it) :P

Snow Day!

2010-04-04T12:27:00.015-05:00

Wow! What a crazy semester it's been! I have a bit of catching up to do. I have been too busy to even think about our blog. The last week of February, it snowed in Texas! It was crazy! I had to go to clinical that day, so David had to teach me how to drive in the snow.

This is from our front porch, looking at the front yard.

This is from standing in the loft, looking out the window at our backyard.

The snow flakes were huge! It looked like snow balls falling from the sky!

This is from one of the bedrooms, looking at the front yard.

This is when I was driving to the hospital.

Don't worry, I was being safe! :P

David and Bella had fun playing in the snow together. Bella was so freaked out by it. I think she enjoyed it though. :)

RIP, American Dream

2010-03-22T11:53:00.002-05:00

It was nice knowing you. I had 27 good years with you, when I believed that I could achieve anything I wanted, as long as I worked hard enough to get there. I could make choices about my education, my health care, and my money. I got an education. I got a job. I got married. I bought two cars and a house. I put away money for a rainy day. And I felt good about my country and the freedoms I enjoy here that allowed me to do all of those things.

But now you're gone. Now, more than ever, we will subsidize failure and punish success. Now, we will cut down excellence in order to guarantee mediocrity for all. Now, we will move out of the shining city on a hill and back in with the huddled masses, yearning to breathe free, and the wretched refuse of the teeming shores from whence we came. So, forget about that hard work stuff. Forget about your dreams of making it. Forget about being successful. Forget about working hard for what you want. It isn't right for you to dream, or succeed, or want. Just sit back and take what Uncle Sam gives you. He'll make sure it's fair. Sit back in your doubly mortgaged house that the bank can no longer foreclose on you. (What, you were making your payments? Silly you! Go spend that on brand new hybrid or some solar panels, instead!) Enjoy the furniture you bought with the credit card you defaulted on. Pour yourself a beverage you purchased with the food stamps or unemployment checks you've been getting for the last two years. And don't worry about going to the doctor about that chest pain you've been having - he doesn't have an opening until 2011, and by then he'll be out of business. Are you worried about losing your job with your newfound urge to slack off? Join a union - your union boss will have your back, and make sure you don't get fired. Or, if you do, you'll have a sweet severance package. Don't worry about any of that. Don't lift a finger! Uncle Sam will now guarantee you have your house, your health care, your food, and everything else he decides you need. He doesn't guarantee they won't suck; all he guarantees is that your hard-working neighbor's will suck just as bad as yours. So relax - or don't, whatever. The outcome will be pretty much the same either way.

Life is mediocre again in America - just like every other social democracy in Europe.

It used to be excellent, but I guess mediocrity is okay. It's not like we have any other choice anymore.

Beans, beans, the musical fruit...

2010-03-15T00:46:00.001-05:00

...the more you eat, the more you toot. And in Ashley's case, it *was* musical tonight - a perfect C. I called it, too. Ashley guessed a B, so we tested it on the keyboard, and I was right on. So I have perfect pitch, and so does Ashley. Or, part of her anyway... ;p

March 2

2010-03-02T12:19:00.002-06:00

Did you know that Texas and I were both born on March 2? Pretty cool, huh?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_Declaration_of_Independence

Happy Birthday, Texas! Thanks for giving me a place to live and work with no income taxes. :D

2/22

2010-02-22T15:12:00.002-06:00

Heelllllllllllooooooooooooooooo! Happy 222 Day, everyone! LA La la...

For those of you who don't know why or how we celebrate 222 day, that's probably because you're just not cool enough. That's unfortunate, but I'm not too worried about it.

For those who do, break out your prankin' hats, lobster pots, and simulated fecal matter. Or take a couch nap after watching The Skulls or playing some Tamale Loco (yes, it's still out there.) Or have a blues night about the fact that you can't get 1/2 price Papa John's or remember who GNO and GNT are and which one - if any - was the Burger Queen. Or whatever - as far as holidays go, it's just capricious and arbitrary. Maybe you say those things are played. Soooooo played. But are they, people? Are they?

About as played as a purple slurpie.

Ahoy hoy!

Nursing School

2010-02-18T09:47:00.002-06:00

So, Ashley has now begun nursing school. She's doing well, and had her first clinical yesterday. We're alive, but very busy.

See you in a couple years.

'Twas the night before Christmas...

2009-12-29T12:55:00.002-06:00

...and all through the House, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Unfortunately, over in the Senate, things were a wee bit different, and they passed their own version of a "health care reform bill," which in reality is a bill that does NOT fix any problems in health care, is mostly unknown to the Senators that voted for it, pushes our country deeper into socialism, is opposed by a majority of Americans, hurts small businesses, and is probably unconstitutional. I'm really hoping that, if this becomes law, the Supreme Court can pull their head out and say, "No, you can't just throw down a tax on people that do things in a way you don't like." Like a tax of $1,500 on anyone choosing not to carry health insurance. That's insane. The tax code is for generating revenue, it's not a punitive weapon.

They needed 60 votes to do it. In order to get the 60 votes, they added special languages to the bill for Mary Landrieu's state, Louisiana, and Bill Nelson's state, Nebraska. Essentially, these are several hundred million dollar bribes, paid for by the American people. Nebraskans don't seem to be too happy about it, despite the windfall. Senator Nelson has an uphill battle ahead of him in 2012 for his shenanigans.

I'll have a definitive rant (for those of you weirdos that come to our blog to hear me rant) about health care sometime later this week. But, barring some kind of miracle, we're probably hosed.

Merry Christmas!

The Writing Is On The Wall

2009-12-14T10:29:00.002-06:00

I think once you do some linear regressions on this, identify the trends, and all the other statistical mumbo jumbo you normally do to a data set, this will actually spell out the word FAIL. ;-)

Of course, maybe he's trying to follow golf great Tiger Woods' lead and get ridiculously low scores. Someone should tell him that low scores in this game are bad. Also, if he's following Tiger, he's gonna end up a lot more like Clinton than Lincoln.

I don't see that happening though. It's hard to sneak a teleprompter into a hotel without anybody noticing.

Inside Jokes

2009-12-06T22:21:00.002-06:00

Inside jokes are the glue that hold a relationship together. And the more you have, the better. Well, actually, there's probably an upper limit beyond which your relationship becomes a gooey mess. But I haven't reached it yet.

With that, here are a few of our inside jokes we want to share - mostly so we don't forget them.

"Forgive me please!"

It was late at night, and Ashley did something she felt the need to apologize for. Most likely, it was something insignificant. But, since it was late, she skipped the apology and went straight on into getting forgiveness, and with a huge smile yelled "Forgive me please!" It stuck. :)

"I've taken a dagger to the butt!"

Apparently, I'm not as good a masseuse as I think I am... ;)

"You're cute!" *smack*

So, another late night some time ago, Ashley told me that I was cute. Then she pushed my forehead backwards for no reason. So I did it right back to her. And now, whenever we tell each other that we're cute, the smack inevitably follows. Sometimes, we even do it over instant messages.

"You're taking away my agency!"

So, during a trip to Houston, I did a lot of studying and thinking about the idea of agency, and Ashley and I talked about it all the way home. I think that's where it came from, anyway. A week or two later, we started saying things to each other like "Why are you taking away my agency?" "I'm taking away your agency." "May I take away your agency?" whenever there's some sort of persuasion / compulsion / whatever going on. The latest was this exchange:

Ashley: "You're taking away my agency!"

David: "And you're taking away my agency to take away your agency!"

"What else can I take?"

One night after Ashley's hip injury, she had to take like 6 different types of medicine. Pain medication, muscle relaxant, allergy medication, NyQuil, birth control, and maybe something else. She was nearly asleep on the couch, and after I brought her all her medicine, she was like, "What else can I take?" Instant classic.

"Note to self: no more curry vomit box."

This one comes from last night. We were on a date, including dinner at the China Cafe, followed by The Blind Side. Both are excellent, and I highly recommend them. Anyway, I had the curry chicken (which is fantastic), but couldn't finish. With these portion sizes, few people could. Anyway, we left our boxes in the car, and when we got back in after the movie, the car smelled like curry. I didn't mind. Ashley said she was going to vomit, several times. So, I attempted to say something to the effect of, "Okay, I won't get a box when I have curry anymore." Somehow, the word "takeout" turned into "vomit." We laughed all the way home.

"I'm too tired for my body!"

I'm not at liberty to discuss this one right now. Maybe if you all put some pressure on Ashley, I can divulge some information. :) It's good.

Anyway, that's all! Stay tuned for Christmas pictures!

George Is Still Running

2009-11-30T10:53:00.004-06:00

For all you disappointed fans in red out there:

You lost. Get over it. And even if you had won, you wouldn't be any closer to digging yourself out of the shambles of a life that has you cheering for a pathetic bunch of sackless sissies as a defense mechanism.

Remember, repentance is a true principle, even for you guys. It's hard, but it always feels better when it's complete.

Now, as for these guys...

..there may be no hope, except to wind up on a poster sometime soon. At least in 2006, the hapless defenders had the good sense to get completely out of the picture.

Thanks to the Photoshop Laureate of BYU, SnarrWars, for the "still running" images.

Videos of Bella

2009-11-06T16:42:00.006-06:00

Here are SEVERAL videos that we have taken in the past several weeks. We're finally getting around to posting them! ;P

Bella vs. Tail

Bella's reaction to her new hand-me-down clothes.

Bella vs. Ice cube

David trying to get her to dance. (stand on her back legs...idk, he thinks it's cool) lol

Looking for the lost bone buried in the couch.

Sorry if I bored you will all these videos...she's just so darn cute!!!

Bella

2009-10-26T21:30:00.005-05:00

I've taken a million pics of Bella in the past couple weeks. I just haven't had time to post them :P Here are some that I tried to take with the computer. Not many came out cute. lol I kept getting butthole in every shot ;D More to come later. Anyway, enjoy!

P.S. After a lot of hard work and many accidents we are finally starting to see some results with the potty training. ;D

Tagged...?

2009-10-26T11:37:00.006-05:00

So, we've been tagged by Ryan and Mandy. I don't know what this means, other than that the person that tags you thinks by virtue of the fact that they can type "I tag So and So" on their blog, they can compel them to answer random and trivial questions on their own blog. The unmitigated gall...

Well...

In the mashed-up words of an impersonated Sean Connery, "I'll play your game, you rogue..." but "...I'll not pay this fine, you curd, it's unjust!"

1. Name three types of people who should qualify for forced labor camps.

David: 1) Communists/Marxists/Stalinists/Maoists. You live your dream, let me live mine. 2) Fashion designers. One of the most despicable lies perpetrated on our society is the one that gets people to choose a $500 pair of pants over a $10 pair. 3) BCS apologists. The BCS is ruining a sport that, if it had a playoff, would be pure, perfect, and sacred, and you are in favor of this? It's the gulag for you!

Ashley: I don't care

(Ashley had a much funnier answer that was inappropriate to post)

Bella: 1) The inventor of the kennel, 2) The vet, 3) The blanket David keeps trapping me in

2. What was the last thing you ate?

David: 6 vanilla cream cookies

Ashley: Ice

Bella: A doggy treat

3. What’s a goal you have?

David: Create an economic simulator that simulates a large number of short-sighted agents acting on microeconomic rules, which demonstrates emergent macroeconomic behavior for the whole that is similar to what leading macroeconomic theory would predict.

Ashley: Graduate nursing school.

Bella: Go a whole day without peeing in my kennel.

4. What do you think of entertainment awards shows?

David: <vomit>

Ashley: Cute to watch people's outfits, but I don't care about the awards.

Bella: As long as I can snuggle, I like to watch them.

5. How do you want to die?

David: After Ashley, so she doesn't get mad that I left her. ;)

Ashley: In bed, peacefully, holding David's hand.

Bella: With a treat in my mouth.

6. What is your favorite vacation/get-away spot? Where will you be traveling next?

David: Vacation/get-away: Thanksgiving Day turkey bowls. Next: Commuting home.

Ashley: Vacation/get-away: New Zealand. Next: To school to pay a parking ticket.

Bella: Vacation/get-away: The guest bedroom. Next: The back yard.

7. How do you pronounce “gyro?”

David: Euro. Very tasty when done right. :)

Ashley: Jai-ro? Guy-ro? I guess guy-ro? How are you supposed to pronounce it?

Bella: Ruff!

8. What have you found entertaining lately?

David: This.

Ashley: Bella and Everyone Loves Raymond. Or Happy Aquarium? Can I put all three?

Bella: Licking Ashley's face.

9. Do you follow any blogs of nondescript people who you don't know? Why do you follow those blogs?

David: No. I barely have time to follow my own.

Ashley: Yes. Diabetes Sweeties. I have a 2-year-old cousin that's diabetic, and I want to see if there is any helpful information.

Bella: Sorry, I don't have opposable thumbs.

10. What would you use a time machine for?

David: Arbitrary time travel is impossible. Assuming, however, that it is possible and avoids all of the obvious problems inherent in time travel, I'd go back in time I tell myself that dating during my time at BYU would be a completely pointless and unrewarding experience and to just skip it and get the most out of my education. That, or I'd kill my younger self so I could see what a temporal paradox looks like.

Ashley: To go back and be nicer to David.

Bella: To get Ashley and David home from work faster.

11. What are your favorite restaurants?

David: Tucanos, Olive Garden, Arby's.

Ashley: Taco Cabana, Wok-aholic, Gatti's Pizza, Pancho's.

Bella: Ashley's Pantry Buffet.

12. What actors should be barred from acting?

David: Hayden Christensen and everyone that had any role in Big Trouble in Little China Town. Oh, and Drew Barrymore, definitely.

Ashley: Miley Cyrus, and Barack Obama, because all he does is act.

Bella: Taco Bell Chihuahua - he's got nothing on me!

13. What’s the last book you read?

David: Glenn Beck's Arguing with Idiots.

Ashley: The Book of Mormon.

Bella: War and Peace.

14. What’s the last movie you enjoyed?

David: Enjoyed? Meaning what, saw? Over the Hedge. Thought was worth the money? Up. Thought was freaking awesome? The Dark Knight. Laughed myself silly at? Spider-man 3. (The Boy and I saw that one together, and with our long history of emo-bashing, it was just perfect comedy for us. Wow.) You have to specify.

Ashley: Twitches.

Bella: Also Twitches.

15. Reveal something that really bothers you.

David: People who feel entitled to a share of my time and/or money. Right now, the homeowner's association comes to mind. I pay you $35 a month to tell me how to cut my grass and what I can do with my property? Wow, what a privilege. This is the United freaking States of America. Step off. I'm also in freaking Texas, so... Step off or I'll blow you away.

Ashley: When I have to give report IN THE PATIENT'S ROOM!

Bella: Being locked in the kennel.

16. What will it say on your gravestone?

David: Get off my lawn.

Ashley: If the grave is a rockin', don't come a knockin'!

Bella: Best Dog Ever.

17. Put your iPod on shuffle and list the first three songs that come up, then explain yourself.

David: I don't have an iPod, but if I did... 1. The Greatest Man That Ever Lived, Weezer. 2. The Greatest Man That Ever Lived, Weezer. 3. The Greatest Man That Ever Lived, Weezer. No explanation needed.

Ashley: I don't have an iPod either, but I can tell you what's stuck in my head. 1. Party in the USA, Miley Cyrus. 2. Hide and Seek, Imogen Heap. 3. Replay, IYAZ feat. Sean Kingston. They're catchy.

Bella: Which one's the shuffle button?

18. What is the biggest mistake you have ever made?

David: I don't make mistakes. But if I did... ;) It would be dating at BYU. Complete waste of time and effort. I had midterm exams FAR more enjoyable than that.

Ashley: I cannot disclose that information.

Bella: Farting in Ashley's ear a couple of minutes ago.

19. What kind of toppings do you generally request for your pizza?

David: Double pineapple.

Ashley: Pepperoni and extra cheese.

Bella: Kibble?

20. Who/what would you love to have complete control over?

David: The passage of time.

Ashley: The way the healthcare system is run.

Bella: My bladder.

21. What does your ideal Saturday consist of?

David: Nothing but college football; BYU victory required.

Ashley: No alarm clock, sleeping in, the house being perfectly clean, cuddling, and watching movies.

Bella: Chasing my tug toy round and round and round, and sleeping.

22. What is one skill you lack completely but wish you could master with the snap of your fingers?

David: Hmmm... Either car repair or guitar shredding. Depends if I'm feeling practical or not.

Ashley: Cooking. (Not going to the bathroom every 20 minutes was a close second.)

Bella: Again, the bladder control thing... I'm working on it!

23. What's something you live in constant fear of?

David: Nothing. Fear lives in constant fear of me.

Ashley: Ghosts.

Bella: Loud noises.

24. What was the first album you listened to non-stop, over and over again?

David: Nine Days, The Madding Crowd.

Ashley: Britney Spears, Baby One More Time.

Bella: I'm 3 months old, I haven't had a chance for that yet!

25. Have you ever seen a live, wild rat? How about a dead one?

David: Yes and yes. I lived in Uruguay for two years, I've seen a lot of things live and wild and dead. And rotting.

Ashley: Yes. Yes.

Bella: No. No.

26. What thing have you most aggressively promoted?

David: Common sense and the 9/12 Project.

Ashley: I don't really promote anything (except continence in my patients).

Bella: PETA. ;)

27. Is there a band or musical trend you would love to see erased completely?

David: EFY music.

Ashley: Devil Rock music.

Bella: Those ultrasonic whistles? Not funny, people. Not funny.

28. If you had to describe yourself using 3 words, what would they be?

David: Smartest. Man. Ever. ;) Just kidding. I feel no need to describe myself. Either you know me and need no description, or don't and no description will suffice. The greatest of men simply do their best and leave the descriptions to history, and I find that kind of humility inspiring.

Ashley: Loving, honest, fun.

Bella: Brown, small, chihuahua.

29. Where is the last place that you'd see yourself living?

David: America's cesspool, Washington, D.C.

Ashley: With Northerners.

Bella: Upstairs (they never let me up there).

30. What was the last video you enjoyed on the internet?

David: See question 8 above.

Ashley: Same as David.

Bella: Same as Ashley.

31. What is your favorite smoothie combination?

David: Jamba Juice's Coldbuster. Nothing like 3100% RDA of Vitamin C to ward off a cold, or give you a boost of energy. That was my coffee in college. :)

Ashley: Columbian jugo de fresa.

Bella: Sometimes I mix my food with my water... Mmmm!

32. What is the worst thing that has ever happened to your car?

David: Failed master cylinder for the clutch right before a test in a blizzard. I'm not sure how I got that car to campus and back, because shifting gears was nearly impossible and involved pumping the clutch pedal repeatedly, but I did. Cost over $900 to fix.

Ashley: There are two. First, I lost my brakes completely while I was lost downtown and had to run stop signs. Second, I had a short in my horn, so it would randomly honk and people would look at me funny.

Bella: I can't even get a license...

33. What album have you been listening to most?

David: Weezer, self-titled Red Album.

Ashley: I just listen to the radio on the way to work, 96.7 FM.

Bella: Whatever Ashley listens to.

34. What clues you into a person's idiocy?

David: Texans for Obama bumper stickers. If you have the good sense and luck to actually live in Texas, you shouldn't blow it all to heck by supporting Obama.

Ashley: When they talk slowly. Or when they drive slowly. Basically, just doing things slowly.

Bella: When people talk to me like I can understand them. I just look at them in a way that says, "I'm a dog. I don't get your funny human language."

35. What is your favorite store to wander through?

David: newegg.com. All the toys I want, and I don't have to actually wander through the freaking store. If you want a brick and mortar store, it's Fry's Electronics.

Ashley: Kohl's, Target, or Hannah D's.

Bella: Petco.

Ashley tags her mom and her friend Mindy.

David tags nobody.

Bella tags the dog next door that always barks when she tries to take a dump.

White House Urges Other Networks to Disregard Fox News - Political News - FOXNews.com

2009-10-19T16:25:00.006-05:00

White House Urges Other Networks to Disregard Fox News - Political News - FOXNews.com

Posted using ShareThis

Dear friends and family,

I know this is a family blog, and I probably put too much politically oriented stuff on here as it is. When I do, I try to present the facts as I know them and believe them to be true, and maybe provide you with tools to act accordingly if you so choose. I don't try to push an opinion on you, compel you to action, or anything of the sort. After all, this is a blog - what power do I really have?

Well, today it's different. I'm wishing I had more power than this simple blog gives me, because something evil is happening as I write, and I need your help. It's probably been going on for a long time, but where it used to be moving along at the pace of a fat guy on a tricycle, it's now accelerated to that of a fat guy on a tricycle with a rocket strapped to his back. It's fast, it's wild, it's uncontrollable, it's unpredictable, and it's wrong on so many levels. (Will somebody PLEASE think of the poor fat guy?!?) Hopefully it's not unstoppable, because we need to stop it immediately.

Here's the problem, which you can read about in the article I posted above. Over the weekend, the White House began singling out FOX News, claiming they are an organ of the Republican party. They then began encouraging other news outlets (who, in my humble opinion and in that of the Pew Research Center, could be accused of the same thing for the Democrats) to isolate and alienate FOX News. Sounds like no big deal, right?

Well, it's not. It is a huge deal. The freedom of the press to report what it wants, however it wants to, is fundamental to the maintenance of our freedoms and our republic. It is preserved as the First Amendment to the Constitution. Without a free press that does its job, the citizenry has no mechanism to find out what their representatives are doing and hold them accountable for it. Past administrations and legislatures have been annoyed with the scrutiny they receive from the press, but have never stooped to this level. President George W. Bush had some of the worst press coverage I have ever seen or read about, and rarely even attempted to defend himself from their allegations, let alone go on the offensive. That's because George W. Bush respected the office of the Presidency and the dignity that comes with it, as well as the importance of the free press and the role they play in a free society. Say what you will about Bush, but the man was dedicated to freedom, both here and abroad.

In contrast, the Obama administration seems to be attacking a news organization on the sole basis that he doesn't like what their editorial staff is producing, and is not only trying to claim they are not a news organization, but is also trying to get their peers to turn on them. (This will no doubt please Keith Olbermann, who claims that he has the highest rated cable news show - as long as you exclude every single program on FOX News.) It would be funny, if it weren't so frightening and downright dangerous, and this is why - when the government can give orders to the press, and the press follows them, your freedom is already dead.

Let me repeat that.

When the government can give orders to the press, and the press follows them, your freedom is already dead.

I understand this is just the very beginning (well, I hope it is, anyway, though I fear it isn't), and none of the news outlets have indicated a willingness to participate yet, and I hold out hope that they don't. But the consequences of something like this being allowed by the American people are extremely grave. I recommend George Orwell's 1984 as an excellent illustration of the extremes that a government that owns the media can go to, and pretty much without opposition. However, we don't even have to go into the realm of fiction to see the results of state-run media. The Soviet Union and their party-run newspaper, Pravda, worked in tandem. Indeed, Pravda was central in Stalin's creation of a cult of personality, which, among other things, enabled him to execute millions of people without a challenge to his power. China's state-run media and internet censorship perform a similar role for the communist party there. Iran also enjoys the benefits of state-controlled media. How else do you get an entire population to hate the United States - the most charitable nation on the face of the planet - besides propaganda? Hitler's rise to power was achieved using his speeches and the media to gin up anti-Semitic fervor, and utilized his Brown Shirts to intimidate and repress political parties, dissenting views, and "inferior" races. Hugo Chavez has used his power to destroy media outlets that he doesn't like, in his own pursuit of a socialist utopia. Totalitarian regimes are never established without either the complete support of the military or the press, and usually require both.

That's the very danger we are in right now if we don't do something. "Are you saying that Obama wants to set himself up as a dictator?! That's crazy!" You know what? I hope it is crazy. I hope it's the most ridiculous claim in the history of the world, because I love this country and the freedom it grants to its citizens and the force for good it is throughout the entire world. I want there to be another explanation for this series of moves, but I can't think of one, and that's what's scary. Here's some more pieces of the puzzle, incase you think I'm being an alarmist on this one:

1) Why does Obama need a civilian defense force, as well funded as the military? What are they going to protect us from? FOX News?

2) Mark Lloyd, Obama's appointee to the FCC, which regulates the airwaves, approves of Chavez' repression of the media in Venezuela. Why? And why did the Senate confirm him? If he believes these things, why is he in charge of the FCC?

3) If FOX News' reporting is not accurate, why does the White House need help from other news organizations to silence them? Why can they not simply refute whatever untruths are being spread via their website, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC, NPR, The New York Times, or The Washington Post? Especially when Anita Dunn, part of the White House, claims that they control the media?

Now, here's what I ask. Please read the article, and watch the two videos. You can mute Glenn Beck's analysis on the second one if you don't like him, just read the words Mark Lloyd says in the beginning. Now, if you enjoy freedom, I'm guessing that, with those things combined, you're either scared or angry - or possibly both. I know I am. I have been for a while, but for me, this was just the icing on the cake. I love my country and my freedom, and I have to do what little I can do to help preserve them both, and I hope you will, too. Once you know the information, and are aware of the imminent danger, please:

1) Come back here and prove me wrong if you can. I want to be wrong. I really do.

2) Pass this on to everyone you know. You don't need to use my words or link to my blog or give me credit in any way. But get this information on your blog, your Facebook, your Twitter, and your Myspace. Email it to everyone you know. Text it to everyone you know. Knock doors in your neighborhood. Everyone needs to know what's going on.

3) Act! The time has come for us all to be a lot more involved in politics. I know you don't want to be - I sure don't. It's nasty stuff. But our government has assumed powers it was never meant to have, and as we can see that has become dangerous. It nearly brought down our economy, and it could yet bring down our economy, our individual freedom, and even our national sovereignty. (You didn't hear about that? Seems like something a state-run press would be reluctant to tell you...) We need to elect people at all levels of government who will be willing to nothing other than trim this beast back to the limits the Constitution set forth. And to do that, you need to be involved at the primary election and caucus level. By the time it gets to the general election, and you have to choose between two equally bad candidates, it's too late.

4) Organize! This needs to be a united effort, and there are several organizations out there that are starting to come together to help make our voices known. Get involved with your local tea party group. Join a group like the 9/12 Project or Resistnet.com, and be involved locally.

5) Stay informed! This is hard with a state-controlled media, but there are ways. I encourage everyone to listen to, watch, or read Glenn Beck. He is leading the charge, and I believe him to be the most honest source of information out there. He never asks you to trust him, and provides sources for everything - if he can't, he won't report it. He admits when he is wrong. He is trustworthy, and it shows in his ratings, because I know America is sick of being lied to.

Thanks for your help and understanding,

David

P.S. Stay tuned for your regularly scheduled program, complete with cute puppy pictures and funny stories.

P.P.S. If this blog disappears, or you don't hear from me for awhile, then we have all the more reason to worry. Google, which runs Blogger, is a very left-leaning organization, and if my worst fears are true, will be doing as much as they can to further a left-leaning agenda as they can without being noticed.

Bella

2009-10-03T16:43:00.009-05:00

Here is the newest member of the Merriman family! :) Her name is Bella. She will be 8 weeks old on Sunday. She is a sweety. She loves to cuddle and chase David around the house. Here are a couple pics of the car ride home...

David and Bella falling asleep during conference.

Her new bedroom...

Attacking her new bed... ;P Cute!!!

David put her right to sleep...

Late Show With David Merriman!

2009-09-22T11:10:00.002-05:00

What, you were expecting Letterman? ;)

Here's the highlights from last night:

David: That's what I love about you, Ashley - if you don't get a joke, you just make up your own and laugh at that!

Ashley: [hysterical laughter, for a good 30 seconds] That's funny!

David: Yes, but do you know why?

Ashley: [hysterical laughter, for a good minute or two]

And she never answered the question. I promise you this: marry someone with ADD, and you will never have a dull moment.

And now for tonight's Top Ten List! Tonight, it's "Top Ten Things Ashley Might Have Been Laughing About Last Night"

10. The half-episode of House she just watched

9. Birthday music from India

8. My claim to be on the bleeding edge of fashion

7. fart-sounds.net

6. Flash games

5. Fatigue

4. Chingo bling

3. Air

2. The fact that she had just hugged me and got toothpaste on my chest

1. Absolutely nothing

That's it! Goodnight everybody!

P.S. Everything on that list is something that she has actually laughed at recently, except maybe air. No, wait. She's definitely done that one. Nevermind. ;)

Ashley's Weather Forecast

2009-08-27T21:14:00.002-05:00

I tell you what, when I'm sleepy I tell the best jokes! Well, technically it didn't start out as a joke. I was pondering out loud before falling asleep, "I wonder what the weather will be like during the Second Coming...probably partly cloudy..." Then I got it! Get it?! PARTLY CLOUDY?! MEANING THE CLOUDS WILL PART?!!??!?! I'm freaking amazing you guys!!! I crack myself up! You can't tell me that wasn't good! lol David doesn't think it is, but I know that he's just mad because he didn't think of it first! I love me. ;P (David is still just shaking his head right now)

Thank you, and goodnight ladies and gentleman. hahahhahahahah! (yes, I am sleep deprived)

I DID IT!!!

2009-08-23T16:42:00.000-05:00

For those of you who don't know me, I have belonephobia (fear of needles....a word I just learned). :P It's not so much the needle I'm afraid of, because I'm okay with shots, it's the thought of a needle being inside my vein. Anyway, lately I've been more and more curious about how to start an IV and how to draw blood. I've watched both a million times at work. When I actually caught myself WANTING to try it, I freaked out! That is a huge step for me!!! So I decided I needed to act on that, before I change my mind lol, and take a phlebotomy class. So, I did this weekend. It was a 16 hour class, so we started poking on the first day! Talk about crash course! At the beginning of the first day of class, we had to sign a consent form that stated we would draw other peoples blood and allow others to draw our blood AN UNLIMITED AMOUNT OF TIMES for the purpose of learning. As I was signing this form, my neighbors were chuckling because I was shaking my head and mumbling "I can't believe I'm doing this...." lol I still kinda in shock that I took the class.... Anyway, I survived and only had to be poked 3 times. I am a pretty easy stick because I'm so white, I'm clear! lol Here's a pic of what my arms look like two days later. (they looked worse yesterday)

The bruise on MY left arm (right in the pic) was a lot worse. The next day the teacher walked around making sure everybody's arms were okay and documented who had bruises etc. She announced to the class that my arm was the worst. lol So everybody had to come over to me and check out my arms lol. I felt bad because usually that is a sign that the "poker" did a bad job, but the girl who poked me didn't do too bad. She just went in way too slow, so blood squirted in the air. :P I was just worried someone was would either blow my vein or go fishing for it-which is a no no. There were a couple people that I watched that got nervous in the middle of the stick and let go of the needle (which is super bad) and who went in at one angle and then changed angles while the needle was still inside (also super super bad). Several more people got nervous and pulled the needle out before taking off the tourniquet, which results in blood squirting or gushing out. Another problem people had was pushing the needle a little further in or out while trying to change the vials to collect the blood. This can also make the blood squirt or worse, It can blow the vein. I accidently went in a little when I did it the first time, which was uncomfortable for the person I stuck, but I didn't blow the vein or squirt. Thank goodness... The class was fun though. It felt SO good when I successfully got blood on my first poke!!! Not to brag or anything, but David is making me add that I got a perfect score on the written exam. :) I was surprised I did so well because we had to memorize so much. Like all the different types of tubes with different colored caps which meant different additives in them which means they are for performing different tests...AND the order of draw- meaning which tubes of blood have to be filled first so they don't contaminate each other. I think my fear of needles is almost gone! I can't lie and say that I like getting poked, but I sure do like poking other people! ;D

No End In Sight

2009-08-23T16:21:00.002-05:00

So, something short, but really funny happened the other night as we were having our family prayer, and I had to share.

As I was getting towards the end of my prayer, Ashley lets go of my hand and turns away. I knew she was really tired, but that was still weird, so after I finished I asked her what was up. She tells me, "There was just no end in sight..." She, of course, remembers none of this. But it was hilarious. :-)

Also, I should note that yesterday, when she was blessing the food, she prayed for rain. Two hours later, a thunderstorm appeared out of nowhere, drenched our neighborhood, and disappeared. Now I'm going to have her pray that we win the lottery. :D

NEW CAR!!!

2009-08-23T15:48:00.005-05:00

So, this is about a week late, but we bought a new car! And by new, I mean NEW new. Brand spankin' new. It had 5 miles on it when we drove it off the lot. :-) It's a 2009 Honda Fit, BYU Blue, and it's awesome. Ashley thinks it's really cute. And with her granddaddy helping us during the negotiations in Houston, we got it pretty much at the invoice price.

Part of the reason we did it now was because the one car thing was just getting ridiculous, with the forgetting of shoes and all... ;-) But really, it is such a nice car, and it has already been so helpful and so useful in helping us get more done, especially when Ashley has to work. I can be home 4 hours before her, clean the house, and have dinner ready when she walks in the door.

This is our first picture with the car after we bought it, out in front of Ashley's family's house. Don't you just love that huge smile on her face? I love it! And I love her! And therefore she has a new car. :D

Here's an action photo taken by Ashley's mom as we drove back to Austin on I-10. Don't worry, we went slowly and carefully.

Here it is in the garage, from the front...

...and from the side...

...and in the driveway...

Here we have our two cars. Poor Groundskeeper Willy 2 (that's the Camry) is going to have to give up his spot in the garage, but hopefully he'll get along with his new, nameless friend. I'm trying to get Ashley to name the Fit, but she claims girls don't name cars.

Whatever. ;-)

Here's the front seat. It's a small car, but it's amazing how much room is inside.

Here's the steering wheel and dash. It's awesome. It looks like a Star Trek bridge, only cooler. The gauges light up all blue and the needle glows red. It's nice. Also, you can't see them too well, but there are paddle shifters on the steering column. That means, you can drive it like an automatic if you want. If you don't, you can put it in "Sport" mode, and shift manually with the paddles. But you don't have to worry about the clutch; it's all handled electronically! Too bad it's only got a 4-cylinder engine - a V6 would be freaking AWESOME with that. Also, the radio has a display that tells you what station you're on, what song is playing, and who sings it, for any FM radio station.

Despite being a small car, the back seat actually has a lot of room! I can sit back there comfortably. But that's not all...

You can also fold the seat bottoms up, if you need to put something tall in there. The seats also have storage underneath them, too. There's a crazy amount of storage space in this thing! But wait! There's more!

The seats also fold down flat with the deck! Like this, there's a lot more storage space, especially for something bulky, than we have in the Camry, which is a much bigger car.

And now for the obligatory picture of me posing with the car...

And look at this hottie posing with it! :D I have to admit, she looks WAY better in my pajamas than I do.

Anyway, that's our new Honda Fit, and we love it.

Call CPS

2009-08-20T15:11:00.001-05:00

So, today we had to have the water softener people come over to check our water softener out, because our water wasn't soft anymore. When I open the door, he says to me, "Are your parents home?" I kinda blinked a couple times, and I was like, "Ummm... no... I'm the owner of this house..." He didn't apologize or anything, he just said, "Oh." I should have said, "No, are yours?" Or, "I don't know, they live in Houston, do you want me to check?" When I told David what happened, he said, "Great, he's going to call CPS and they're going to take my WIFE away." The rest of the time he was here he didn't say anything, and it was really awkward. lol Do I really look that young?

You forgot WHAT?

2009-08-13T12:01:00.002-05:00

So, my commute to work today took me about an hour and a half. Why's that? Well, just as we were about to drive up to the hospital to drop Ashley off for work, she informs me that she's forgotten something, and that I need to go back and get it for her.

That something? Her shoes.

I don't know how you walk out the door without your shoes on. I don't even like going in the garage with just my socks on, the floor's pretty nasty right now. But no shoes?! Seriously? I guess that's what happens when we have to get up before 6 for 3 days straight.

I sure do love her, though. I went back, burned probably 2 gallons of gas and $4 in toll road charges, got the shoes, delivered them, and got in to work at 8:00. And I was happy to do it.

She'll never live it down, though. :D That's what blogs are for. Mwahahaha!

!!!Que onda wey!!!

2009-08-07T21:07:00.002-05:00

I love this video! Ryan, does this bring back any memories from your mission? hahah This video SO reminds me of my mexican ex-boyfriend...wow... For those of you who don't know me very well, I used to think I was mexicana. Actually, I was. There will always be a part of me that is :) I <3 this song! Enjoy!

Worst. Lyrics. Ever.

2009-08-03T13:50:00.003-05:00

I hereby nominate Kanye West for the dubious distinction of writing the worst song lyrics to have ever been written by mankind. I dare say ALL of our blues night lyrics in 222 - despite the fact that almost all of them involved rhyming "blue" and "poo" - were Shakespearean sonnets by comparison. Are you ready for this? Here it is:

Tell me now can you make it past your caspers
So we can finally fly off into NASA?
Kanye West, Knock You Down

Now, I could have put all his lyrics from this three artist effort in as the submission, but honestly, these two lines were all I needed. Also, they were profane, and this is a family blog. So, how doth this lyric suck? Let me count the ways...

First off, in the context of the verse, this is supposed to be a couplet. A couplet is a pair of lines that rhyme. Caspers and NASA do not rhyme. Even if your English pronunciation is atrocious, they don't rhyme. It doesn't even qualify as slant rhyme. And you might claim that caspers was supposed to rhyme with past, but that's crap, because if so something similar would have been done in the second line - which we'll get to in a moment. There's no rhyme. The next two lines are a couplet, suggesting that the artist knows how to do them. Unfortunately, this attempt is an epic failure.
A couplet is also supposed to have the same meter. Meter in poetry is the rhythmic structure. I would do an analysis of the meter here, but not only do the lines not have the same meter, there's no discernable poetic meter in either of them! I tried to figure it out, and it was a complete waste of time.
I know, I know, meter and rhyme is no longer required for something to be called poetry (which is retarded, but unfortunately true in our retarded society). However, both are still very important for music, and even more important still in rap music. Since you don't have a melody to tie the lyrics into a song with rap, you really on rhyme and rhythm to do it. In fact, many rappers often rap about their ability to rhyme and having rhythm. (A discussion about how including your own name in a song automatically makes it suck is beyond the scope of this essay.) Because this rap lyric has no rhyme, no meter, and hence, no rhythm, it doubly sucks. You could get away with this in the verse of a country song, maybe, but as the lead-off couplet of a rap verse? WOW. Epic failure.
Now let's get to content. I want to get the obvious out of the way right now. "Fly off into NASA?" That makes NO SENSE! You want to fly off into the National Aeronautics and Space Administration? You want to fly off into a government agency? Huh? NASA != space! NASA is not even a place, it's an abstract organization with locations throughout the United States, including Cape Canaveral, Florida and Houston, Texas, among several others. Now, I guess you might use NASA as a metaphor for space, if you needed NASA for the rhyme. But we've clearly established that YOU DON'T! RETARDED!
Caspers? I'm guessing this is a substitute for ghosts, which are a metaphor that haunt someone that's scared of the future because of past events. However, I've got problems with it. First, Casper is a name, not a ghost. It has many uses besides that of a name for a ghost, including a city in Wyoming. However, even as the name of a ghost, it should be noted that the full title of the ghost is "Casper the Friendly Ghost." Ashley is deathly afraid of ghosts, and yet I have witnessed her watching a Casper the Friendly Ghost movie without any problems! Maybe that doesn't seem to matter, but think about it: if the reason for using Casper was as a substitute for ghost, for a metaphor as I explained above, the fact that Casper is a friendly ghost completely destroys the very metaphor you were attempting to create!
Let's put it all together now. So, you're singing about someone that needs to get past their friendly memories so that you can figuratively fly off together into a government agency with no specific locality? Holy crap, that sucks! Why do they need to get past their friendly memories? Why do you need to go to NASA? What do either of those to things mean in the context of a love song? And why does this keep getting airtime on my radio?!
This song is a three person effort, and you still have crap like this in it? I'd have better luck with three monkeys on typewriters... Maybe that old joke about monkeys, typewriters, and Shakespeare should be updated to include hip-hop artists...

Wake up, people. I could similarly destroy most of the rest of this song, as well, but it's not worth my time. Is this really all you need to be a millionaire recording artist? Because I can write crap like this in my sleep.

Lest ye doubt me, observe how easy it is for me to change very little of this lyric to make it rhyme, make the lines have similar meter, and preserve the intended-yet-poorly-executed meaning of the original. Behold:

Tell me now, can you make it past your poltergeists
So we can finally fly off into higher heights?

See? Simple. Poltergeists are also ghosts like casper, but they're scary. Higher heights are somewhere you would actually fly to that make sense in the context of the song. In fact, it's somewhere NASA flies off to frequently. That change took me 15 seconds, tops, to think of. Not hard.

Anyway, I'm done. I'd love to hear any suggestions you have for the "Worst. Lyrics. Ever." Award, but you better be able to back it up.

P.S. Pay no attention to the songs in the player to the right. Presence on this blog - with the exception of "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" - does not constitute my approval of the lyrics, message, content, melody, beat, rhythm, meter, rhyme, quality, implications, declarations, or defecations of said songs. In fact, I think some of them (guess which?) are some of the most idiotic ramblings ever recorded by mankind, and can only be called music by such a loose definition as would render the term utterly meaningless. I pick my battles. "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" is on there, which is an excellent song presenting a dizzying variety of musical styles and talents. Also, it's freaking hilarious, and I love it.

Hamilton Pool

2009-07-28T15:52:00.011-05:00

I found this place called the Hamilton pool while my family was in town, so I took them. Oh my gosh, it was one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen, especially to swim! It used to be a cave but since the cave collapsed it's just a swimming hole. There is usually a bigger waterfall, but since we're in a drought there wasn't a lot. We packed a picnic lunch, got there at 9am and stayed all day! It was only about a 45min drive. The quarter mile hike to the cave was so beautiful. We took quite a bit of pictures. David didn't go because he was still so burnt from our trip to New Braunfels to float down the river earlier that week. He had blisters all over his chest and stomach. It was pretty bad... He's okay now though :)

Morgan wasn't too happy and wouldn't look at the camera. lol

My mamacita and sister.

The gang.This is robby swimming.

This is a picture off the internet of what the waterfall usually looks like when Texas actually gets rain! Beautiful!

Galveston

2009-07-28T14:46:00.011-05:00

We went to Galveston with my family one weekend this month. We had so much fun! It was so sad seeing all the damaged buildings. There was still so much damage from Hurricane Ike.

This is my mom and my aunt.

All of us eat'n lunch.

DJ loved the beach! Talk about an adventurous baby!

David attempted to make a sand castle...but finally gave up after it kept caving in :P

Morgan loved looking for seashells.

Is The Tide Turning?

2009-07-17T09:55:00.002-05:00

Take a look at this chart, produced by Rasmussen Reports, of Obama's approval index, which is calculated by subtracting the "Strongly Disapproves" from the "Strongly Approves."

Isn't that great? All of a sudden, it's flipped from positive to negative. And the timing of the flip suggests that I wasn't the only one screaming at the TV - which was on C-SPAN, not sports - while the House passed their carbon tax bill, 219-212.

So, it looks like people are starting to wake up. But this is not time to say, "Mission Accomplished!" No, we need to be like sharks that smell blood in the water, and rip this insane socialist agenda to shreds. And to do that, you need to be involved in finding someone better suited to represent you. Do you know how your representative voted? ...Does it really matter? It seems like the ones that voted for it obviously need to go, and the ones that didn't need to go for not putting up enough of a fight. Anyway, you can find out who you need to kick out here:

http://votesmart.org/index.htm

And see one of the reasons they should be kicked out here:

http://www.govtrack.us/congress/vote.xpd?vote=h2009-477

Stay tuned for more political rantings (I just can't help myself!) and also maybe some vacation pictures. :p

Nemo and MawMaw

2009-06-24T23:41:00.003-05:00

My grandma and great grandma (nemo and mawmaw is what we call'em) came to visit us last week. We had a blast. Nemo helped me pick out stuff to decorate our house while mawmaw ran into everything, and everybody, driving in all the motorized shopping cart. lol It was pretty funny. We had a lot of fun together. I took advantage of the opportunity one night and got them to take a couple photos. Here's what we ended up with. Hope yall enjoy them as much as we did :)

Davids Wild Side

2009-06-24T10:01:00.002-05:00

This video was taken about a year ago on our trip to San Antonio. I love this crazy side of david! My family thought the was kinda quiet and shy...until they saw this video! :D We always have so much fun together. The reason it took me so long to post this video is b/c I didn't know how. So I was only able to send it, via text message, to everyone I could. Soon after I sent it out, I found out that Kendal (my lil cousin) set it as her screen saver :D haha I love you David!

If I hear the word green one more time...

2009-06-18T08:30:00.003-05:00

Okay, it's ranting time.

Here's what's setting me off: I listen to talk radio at work. "Well THERE'S your problem!" No, not quite. The radio programs I listen to are excellent. It's the ads that I have a problem with. Take one from earthshare.org that I keep hearing. This was my rant to Ashley the other day:

Man, even on Rush's radio station, I get some of the most retarded ads. Pesticides are evil and will make your children retarded and asthmatic!" Yeah, and no pesticides will make their food twice as expensive, making me spend more on food and less on medicine and doctors. Yay for pesticides! Nuke the bugs, and club the seals! It sounds like some sweet grandma telling you super-uber-important advice about your kids. But it's really just some idiotic anti-pesticide rant.

I think that summarizes my feelings on that ad pretty well. Nuke the bugs, and club the seals! The simple truth is that pesticides have done way, way, WAY more to improve the human condition than any alleged harm they may have done. And they can STILL do plenty if we just grew a pair as a society and used DDT to combat malaria in Africa, for example.

Then, today, I hear an ad similar to this:

How can you choose between the eagle and the buffalo? Between the elephants and the whales? Between drinking clean water and breathing clean air? Between parks and beaches? How can you choose? Would there be a right choice? Now there’s a way to help not just one, but all these things. It’s called Earth Share of California – the world’s leading environmental and conservation charities working together.

The radio version is more detailed and annoying, since it has some low-voiced guy speaking way too slowly and with more dramatic pauses than William freaking Shatner, but I couldn't find a transcript for it. As soon as I first heard this ad, my internal fallacy alarm was just screaming "False Dichotomy! False Dichotomy!" I shall explain this to those of you that don't have an internal fallacy alarm. The idea is they are presenting a bunch of choices, suggesting you must either choose the eagle or the buffalo, when in fact there is no such choice. You can save them both. In fact, I would argue that they are probably just fine and don't need any more saving, since you can no longer hunt them. Then they proceed to say that now, because of their miraculous organization, you can finally choose both! Oh yay, that's so wonderful! Please liberate me of the immense guilt I feel as a member of the human race, destroyer of habitats, extincter of species, fouler of the atmosphere, raper of the entire planet and enemy to all righteousness! And then, on top of the logical fallacies, they announce that they are Earth Share, of California.

Three strikes, you're out. Environmentalism, logical fallacies, and California, all at once. You're not even worth the time it would take to destroy you and all your premises. Maybe I'll do it later.

But there's MORE! The other day, Ashley was doing some shopping, and saw a cute bag for $1, so she went for it. The person bagging was like, "So, you're starting to go green?" and bagged everything in the bag she had just purchased. Go green?! If I had been there, I would have been like, "No. Take those out. Bag them in plastic. And bag the bag in plastic. And then bag THOSE in paper. And then wrap them in a dead baby seal pelt, preferably one that has been illegally poached by a diesel fume-spewing death ship and flown around the world to get here." Ashley almost did herself. Going green?!? Seriously?!? You people... Not using plastic bags is not going to do one bit of good for the environment. Ever. No matter how long you do it and how many you get to participate. It won't do jack! In fact, you should be happy that we're using them. You see, plastic bags are made from natural gas. And if we're making shopping bags from natural gas, we're not burning it, and therefore the carbon is not released into the atmosphere and the planet is saved! But you people won't be happy until we're living in caves, eating nothing but pesticide-free fruits and vegetables, without so much as a spark to keep us warm. And then we'll have plant rights activists trying to get us to pick fruits more humanely...

Here's the kicker, the icing on the cake for me. Ashley's grandma and great-grandma were in town this weekend. One of the things her grandma wanted to do while here was help redecorate. I figure that's fine, as long as I don't have to decide which weird something looks cuter or anything. But she got my attention when I heard her talking to Ashley about energy efficient lightbulbs...

I came home from work Monday, and among other things there is a new floor lamp behind the couch. We definitely needed a floor lamp. But what did I see IN the lamp? CFL's?!? Plus a whole package of them on the couch?!? This shall not stand! I said, "What the heck are these Al Gore Sissy Bulbs doing in MY house?!?" That got a surprised look from grandma, that's for sure. Anyway, for a refresher on how I feel about those, check out an old post from 2008, entitled From My Cold, Dead Hands.

And I'm done.

Surgeon General's Warning: Mentioning the word "green" around David Merriman may be hazardous to your health.

LIGHTNING!

2009-06-11T21:56:00.003-05:00

Here's a video we just made with Ashley's phone, looking out one of the upstairs bedroom windows.

The hilarious part is that we were given a 20% chance of rain for today. Yet we had constant lightning for hours, baseball sized hail in some areas, and there's even rumors of a tornado just to the south of us. We were completely safe, so don't worry. The phone couldn't capture all the lightning - you literally could have read a book by the window just from the lightning, it was that bright and that frequent. We're just grateful for the rain, though - our grass will love it!

Make sure you check out the good parts, at 1:07, 2:22 (Giddyup!), 3:20, and 4:15. We also hope you enjoy our commentary. It's a little quiet, but Ashley does get a good Vicodin joke in. ...More on that later.

Crazy

2009-05-30T21:40:00.003-05:00

The other day, I was at work and this is the pic my husband sends me...kinda scary, I know! lol My baby loves his power tools! :D

Furniture!

2009-05-20T11:56:00.004-05:00

So, is everybody ready for pictures of our new couch?!

I knew you were. Here we go!

We got a leather sectional and a cherry wood coffee table. All the seats recline (except the corner, obviously, but the corner seat rocks anway. :D), and it fits PERFECTLY into our oddly-shaped living room. And it's ridiculously comfortable. Seriously - you HAVE to try it.

Another shot of the living room, showing the perfect fit. We went to 4 or more stores looking for something that fit like this, and this was the only one.

But wait! There's more! The coffee table is a lift top! This makes it pretty much the ultimate TV tray. Plus, there's storage underneath, for when you want to do a quick cleanup for the home teachers or whoever and get all the remotes out of the way. ;)

Ashley loves it when I pose weird... Go figure...

As a bonus feature for you, we have this picture. We saw there was a park with a lake in it just across the main road from us, so we took a walk there Sunday after church. Well, turns out that despite the monster rainstorm we got Saturday, we're still in a drought situation, so there wasn't much lake. Which naturally makes the "NO SWIMMING" sign hilarious. Where I'm standing is supposed to be the edge of the bank... Yeah, not quite.

Also, we're moving in officially on Saturday! We'll definitely give you some pictures from that. Hopefully it all goes well... Fingers crossed!

A few new pics

2009-05-12T16:28:00.005-05:00

Here are some pics for errbody...

Here is David drooling on the most comfortable couch in the world...

Here is my hottie mowing our weeds, I mean grass...In action! Bam! Look at those muscles!!! (as the scary socks)
Push baby, push! lol and this whole time, I'm sitting on a lawn chair on the porch drinking water :) (technically, I was suppose to be writing an essay. I was on a break.)

The 3 Stooges

2009-05-10T18:55:00.003-05:00

I just came across this picture and thought I would post it...what a HORRIBLE photo! Yall all should be ashamed! I hardly even recognize Kevin in here! It's just horrible! This is the first picture that I got to see of David's brothers before I met them... I was pleasantly surprised that they were only mildly retarded when we first met instead of completely retarded (which was my first thought after seeing this) ;P This is David's favorite family photo. (he wanted me to mention that...)

Just Horrible, I tell you!

A Mortgage For The Government?

2009-05-05T16:15:00.003-05:00

So, I am a very cerebral, numbers-oriented kind of person. I enjoy math. I miss calculus. I took multivariable calculus and ordinary differential equations in college because I wanted to, not because my degree required it. I wish everyone shared my love of math, because sometimes some simple math can really help you make some smart decisions.

For example, I did all my own calculations for my mortgage before even talking to a loan officer. I knew what I could afford, what interest rate I would need, and what I would have to pay for a 30-year and a 15-year mortgage. In fact, I set up a spreadsheet to do it all for me. You know what I learned? We can shave 15 years off our mortgage and save almost $100,000 in interest by contributing one of Ashley's two monthly paychecks as an extra monthly payment on our principle. Since we can live just fine without her working at all, this seems like a pretty good idea that we'll probably do while we can.

Today, however, I was thinking about the national debt, because I had a weird dream where I was surprisingly elected to the US Senate without really running for the office. (What, you've never had that dream? Seriously? I thought everyone did...) So, I went into my mortgage spreadsheet, and put in all the numbers for the national debt, as recent and accurate as I could get them. Here are the parameters:

A 30-year mortgage
A principle of $11,200,000,000,000 (Yeah, that's the right number of 0's - scary...)
An interest rate of 5.25% (I think it's currently around 5.35%, but I wanted to be generous...)
This gives a monthly payment of $61.8 billion dollars, which is about $744 billion annually.

So, what does that mean? Well, if the government manages to stop borrowing more money (which it won't), and contributes about 3 times the amount they already are towards the national debt (which it can't, without cutting something big), it will still take 30 years to pay the whole thing off.

Now, if you wanted to scale that time period back to 15 years, or roughly 4 presidential terms of office, you would have to up the monthly payment to $90 billion, which is $1.08 trillion annually. To put that in perspective, that's slightly more than the $1.06 trillion the government expects to bring in with all income taxes in the country combined! That's right. If the government managed to have $1 trillion extra dollars laying around (which it never, ever will), every year (yeah right!), it would still take 15 years to pay off the national debt!

And that doesn't even include all of the unfunded obligations in Social Security and Medicare and Medicaid and the trillions that the Fed is on the hook for with all the bailouts. When you throw that in, the principle is about $52 trillion. That means the monthly payments for the mortgage would be $287 billion, which is $3.4 trillion annually, for a 30 year mortgage. To put that in perspective, the entire revenue of the United States government has never been more than $2.7 trillion, and thanks to the economic downturn, it likely won't be for several years. What does that mean? It means, it is IMPOSSIBLE to pay off the national debt.

There's only three ways out of this, and this is the dirty secret no politician is going to tell you.

The United States goes bankrupt and defaults on its loans. That would be extremely bad, and would throw the world into economic turmoil.
Your taxes go way, way, WAY up, in order to try and close the gap. That will most likely lead to people, companies, and jobs leaving the country, so the gap won't be closed, leading us back to 1).
The government prints a gigantic amount of money, which it loans to itself. This causes inflation, which is essentially a stealth tax, and a tax not only on what you make, but also on what you have. Cash, savings, whatever, it all indirectly gets taxed through inflation. By devaluing the dollar, suddenly $52 trillion in debt isn't really that much, and then they might be able to pay it off. Problem is, this has failed every time it has been tried. The Weimar Republic Germany tried it in the 1920's and 1930's. Zimbabwe tried it more recently, as in, like, now. In both situations, hyperinflation occurred, where money quickly becomes literally worth less than the paper its printed on, and you start to see trillion, quadrillion, and quintillion dollar bills - and all you can buy with them is a candy bar. When you get to that point, people simply stop using money and go back to bartering, the government's revenue drops, everyone stops financing their debt, the currency completely collapses, and we're right back at 1).

So, basically we're screwed, right? Yeah, pretty much.

Actually, no. There is a fourth way. But it's so dangerous, no politician would even think of attempting it. They would rather sacrifice the country than attempt this. But this is what needs to happen:

We need to nix Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Federal Unemployment, Welfare, etc. Kill them off, or phase them out, or whatever. They aren't sustainable. Slash the tax rate as well. Maybe not by as much as you just slashed the budget, but a big percentage. It has to stay high enough that you have an extra $700 billion to $1 trillion in revenue, but you want to be as close to that as you can. This does three things. One, it gets rid of your unfunded obligations, so the debt is back down to $11 trillion. Two, it spurs unprecedented economic growth, since everyone's paying less taxes. Three, it gives you the money to actually pay down the debt, so that the sword isn't hanging over our collective head anymore. As an added bonus, once it's all paid off, you'll have an extra $260 billion in revenue a year, for FREE, because you won't be paying interest anymore.

Maybe I should be in the Senate after all. ;)

You know what the real irony of it all is? Obama's budget, complete with its trillion dollar deficit, is titled, "A New Era of Responsibility." Seriously! Look! This is the cover!

Absolutely ridiculous.

HEALTH HAZARD!

2009-04-29T17:01:00.004-05:00

WARNING! The following images are NOT for the faint of heart!

...Got it?

...Okay. Don't say we didn't warn you.

So, last week on Wednesday, Ashley was getting ready for work. We having a running joke, where I tease her not to drop the soap, because she always does. I'll be eating my breakfast, hear the noise, and yell, "Don't drop the soap!" This time, she dropped it on her foot, and I said my usually line.

Yeah, well, it's all fun and games until someone loses a FOOT! Look what Ashley discovered later on at work!

OUCH! And it probably would have been a worse bruise if she hadn't been wearing compression socks, normal socks, and tight shoes for work.

So the lesson is this: soap is a deadly weapon, and should be handled with extreme caution.

Don't drop the soap!

A Brand New Home!

2009-04-28T20:39:00.008-05:00

[Note: This is really David. Ashley got the pics ready, and I'm doing the writing. Aren't we such a good team?]

Okay, we've been really, really busy lately, and so we owe y'all some pictures. We still don't have the stuff from San Antonio ready. But we do have some photos from our NEW HOME!

Here's Ashley with the house keys, right before I carried her over the threshold. Isn't that exciting? Our own house!

Now, any house is going to come with neighbors. And there's all kinds of neighbors. In this picture, taken from the back window in the master bedroom, we see an AWESOME neighbor. I don't know if you can see it, but that's an entire trailer that's been converted into a barbecue grill! It was HUGE! This is the guy you wanna be friends with, because he clearly knows what he's doing. :)

Here's the first sunset we shared together in our new home! This is also from the master bedroom. It was a lot prettier in person, but you get the idea.

And this is me, doing a carpet angel in the living room. Apparently this is just what you do in a new house. Also, we have no furniture there yet, so... ;)

We went back on Saturday and changed the locks and cut some of the bushes, which are WAY overgrown, and we're going to be slowly moving stuff in. But we are WAY excited! Finally, we're home!

EPIC FAIL - Spammer messes with the wrong guy

2009-04-24T15:28:00.002-05:00

Just now, I received the following email from whohub@knowledgetribes.com:

Hi, David Merriman

We are contacting you because we have seen references about your work online.

We would like to include you in our directory of interviews with professionals working on technology and creative fields.

We invite you to take part in this interview. It is free.
You will also be able to include any web links to samples of your work on the internet.

To start the interview just go to this web address and start responding to questions:
http://www.whohub.net/interview/PROGRAMMING

You can also respond to questions in any another category that seems appropriate for you.
Here, you can find some examples from other professionals:
http://www.whohub.net/en/authors.php

Best
Elsa Wide

The following is my response to them:

No. You may not interview me, even if you offered to pay me. I believe you are a scam artist. Here is why:

First, I doubt you have seen any references about my work online. Can you cite them? I doubt it.

Second, I have no reason to believe you are a legitimate business, as you have given me none in your email, and I have no other contact with you.

Third, your email domain is different than the web address you provided to me. This is abnormal for legitimate businesses, but perfectly fits a scam artist.

Fourth, the whois entry for your domain (http://www.whois.net/whois/whohub.com) lists an invalid phone number. Most legitimate businesses have phones.

Fifth, the whois entry for your domain also lists an email contact at a domain separate from your link or your own email address. Fishy, no?

Sixth, the domain listed in the email given in your whois, jerni.com, is a website that consist only of a abstract icon. Why would you waste that money on a domain name, only to put nothing there?

Seventh, the contact on whois is listed as Jerni web development. I don't see how such a company could get any web development business if their own page is nothing more than a logo.

Eighth, the address of Jerni web development seems to be an apartment complex in Miami Beach, zoned for residential development. You wouldn't be illegally running a business out of an apartment, would you?

Ninth, you ask me for information about myself and my work, without indicating that there will be any benefit to me at all. What's my incentive? Were you just hoping I wanted my identity stolen, or spam phone calls at my work number? Were you going to ask me to help you launder some money for Nigerian royalty next?

I could go on, but I worry that double digit numbers are beyond your capacity for reasoning.

Have a nice day,

A not-quite-gullible-enough email user

P.S. Please take me off whatever list you have me on. If you email me again for anything other than to apologize for your unsolicited message, I will have you investigated and prosecuted for all federal and state laws that apply.

Basically, I don't like spam, and I really don't like identity theft, so I decided to share. Hopefully the above is useful to you, in seeing how you can easily identify fraudulent email, using the message content, the WHOIS utility at whois.com, some Google searching, and some common sense.

Has anyone else received anything from these people? Please put your story in the comments if you have.

2009-04-22T16:57:00.001-05:00

HOUSE KEYS!!!

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required.

Teaser!

2009-04-17T13:13:00.002-05:00

So, Wednesday Ashley and I made a day trip to San Antonio. I'm not gonna tell you about it yet, because we're not ready with all the pictures or anything. But I do wanna tease you all with it... Here's what you get to look forward to:

Temple trip!
Random encounter with a drunk Mexican mariachi player in a parking garage
Sign making
The River Walk
The San Antonio Tea Party, with Glenn Beck!
Dinner afterwards

Stay tuned!!!

Random Philosophy While Sitting On A Rock

2009-04-09T15:40:00.001-05:00

So, at about 3 PM yesterday, I was sitting on a rock in the parking lot of the apartment complex. I got up, turned around, and saw what looked like a little stick floating in the air. I thought maybe it was a stick that got caught in a spider web, until it started wiggling. Clearly, this little stick was alive, and it was climbing. It was working real hard at it, too, and doing a pretty good job, in spite of the wind and all. I figured it was probably some sort of caterpillar, and I found the skin it probably shed on the ground nearby. It was probably climbing up to form its cocoon and to the whole metamorphosis thing to become a butterfly. So I just stood there, admiring its hard work, when out of nowhere a wasp flies in and starts attacking the poor thing. Before long, the silk thread broke. The wasp tried to haul it away, but it was too heavy, and they both went down into the grass somewhere.

The reason that this really stuck out to me, and really, the reason I was sitting on a rock at 3 PM in the parking lot, was that it was a perfect example of what had just happened. I was waiting for the police to show up to investigate the fact that Ashley's truck had a smashed window and the amplifier was stolen. I wondered, "What kind of person does that sort of thing?" I mean, do they really think that having that amplifier will make their life better? That whatever rewards they get from breaking into cars will give them happiness? Do they think of themselves as good people? Do they even care if they aren't? Does anybody respect them? Will they ever become contributing members of society? Will they do anything memorable that will outlive them after they are gone?

My conclusion was no - as long as a person remains in the mindset that permits them to do this type of thing, they have no respect, no true happiness, make no contribution to society, and will be forgotten when they are gone. In short, it takes a greater man to create than to destroy.

Let's go back to the caterpillar. I was thinking about that a lot after it happened, and it seemed to me that this is a lot like what's going on in the United States. Let the caterpillar represent the private sector. It was something big and beautiful - the caterpillar before it shed - until the recession. Now it's a lot smaller - the floating stick - but working as hard as it can to make itself something bigger and better - the butterfly. Suddenly, the government - the wasp - swoops in, and, for its own benefit, begins attacking the private sector. The government may not think it's attacking the private sector, but it is. And the sad truth is, just like the wasp could support the weight of the dead caterpillar and carry it off to its nest, if the government kills off the private sector, they are both going down.

Let's look at this. The government has:

Attacked the banking industry by forcing bailouts onto banks that didn't need or want them, and by not allowing them to pay them back while writing laws giving them sweeping new powers over those banks that had accepted bailout money. Wells Fargo is probably the best example here.
Attacked the hotel and convention industry through the public vilification of any company deciding to hold any kind of conference involving booking a hotel or flying to some conference center. Las Vegas is a prime example of this.
Attacked the energy industry by threatening to put a massive carbon dioxide emissions tax in place using a cap and trade system. If this ever goes into law, it will literally bankrupt the coal industry, something Obama himself was proud of on the campaign trail.
Attacked the auto industry, most recently by firing the CEO of GM. However, this attack is not new; the auto industry was already ailing due to parasitic labor union contracts, but things got much worse with the CAFE standards, and the recession was just the breeze that pushed them over the cliff.
Attacked the tobacco industry with massive new taxes in order to pay for new health care spending. If you don't smoke (which I don't), you probably don't care, but the shear magnitude of this tax hike is incredible. The tax on a pack of cigarettes is going from 39 cents to $1.01. The tax on a pound of tobacco for rolling your own cigarettes increases from $1.09 to $24.78. That's about a 2200% tax increase, and that is insane! I mean, I'm all for not smoking, but the government's job is not to save you from yourself. That kind of taxation is ridiculous.
Attacked the health industry, by including provisions in the budget and stimulus bill that would pave the way for socialized, government-administered and government-controlled medicine.
Attacked the defense contract industry by shrinking the defense budget and trying to stop production of F-22's. Incidentally, aside from the jobs that defense contractors lose if this happens, our nation is also less secure by giving up on the most dominant weapon in the history of mankind, besides the atomic bomb. You can bet that Russia and China are licking their chops - and oiling up their Sukhois... (Fun fact: According to our analysts, the Sukhoi 27 fighter, which is used by Russia, China, and India, among others, is superior to the F-15, F-16, and F-18. That's why we need the F-22. Why doesn't our government get that?)
Attacked the food industry by attempting to regulate the production of food on farms of all sizes, right down to your home garden. Ridiculous? Yes. Real? Absolutely. It's called H.R. 875, the Food Safety Modernization Act of 2009. It's still in committee, so you may have a chance to stop it. Act quick, and call your congressman!
Attacked all private companies by introducing legislation to allow the government control executive pay in several situations - usually in conjunction with bailout money, but sometimes even without.

I could go on, probably, but I don't want to get too pissed off. Shouldn't it be enough that they've attacked your bank, your car, your food, your health, your troops, your energy, your garden, your vacation, and your company? What will it take before we finally say, "Enough is enough - you're fired!"? If we want to be truly great, we need to stop these destroyers so that we can continue to create what will hopefully remain the greatest nation on earth.

New Haircut

2009-03-30T15:44:00.011-05:00

I got my haircut the other day and the afterward the lady only put some frizz ease on my hair... well, it didn't work too well. lol David likes my hair when its really frizzy for some reason, so I took a before product and after product picture :) Kind of embarrassing, but what the heck!

Before:

(it is much worse if I actually brush it. This is just from running my fingers through it.) ;D

After:

The lady who cut my hair doesn't really speak english too well. She is from Vietnam or something... and so I guess she didn't understand me when I said "only 2 inches!" She cut way more than 2in on most of my hair! I wanted it layered, but she went pretty high on the top layer.
Now, my ponytail is so short! I don't know how I feel about it....lol I have to admit that it feel a lot lighter now, which I absolutely love! You girls out there know that it can take a couple days before you get used to a new haircut, with the right styling and all...I haven't quite gotten there yet. I'm sure I will in the next couple days or so. So far, nobody has even noticed :/

Best. Wife. Ever!

2009-03-29T17:00:00.002-05:00

This is David. I just woke up from a nap. I'm still not fully conscious. But I need to say I have the best wife ever! I accidentally fell asleep a little after eating the dinner she made me and taking the medicine she got me for my headache. She let me sleep for two hours, and while I was asleep she cleaned the whole house! She is AMAZING!

I love you, Ashley! You are the BEST WIFE EVER!

Finally! A real man in government!

2009-03-27T11:59:00.002-05:00

Unfortunately, he's in the EU parliament, not in the US Congress. But this is a breath of fresh air. Pass it on!

Disgrace!

2009-03-20T11:59:00.002-05:00

I was extremely disappointed to learn that my representative, Mike McCaul, voted for HR 1586 yesterday. That was the bill designed to confiscate bonuses from AIG officials. Now, you may say, "Why? They wasted tax-payer dollars to give huge bonuses to failures!" The fact of the matter is that these were legal contracts, entered into before the crisis and before the federal bailout. The government knew (or should have known) about them beforehand, and therefore they are to blame for the waste, not the bonus recipients.

We should all be angry and afraid at what the government has just done: they have created a new tax designed specifically to punish a small group of American citizens that did not break a single law. I hope the law gets struck down in court on constitutional grounds, because this is ridiculous! It is a disgrace to everything our country stands for.

Below is the letter that I wrote to my congressman. Michelle Malkin has a list of the Republican congressmen who voted for this bill, and you can find out who your representative is and write to them here. Please make your voice heard! We need to throw all these people out and make sure they know WHY they are being thrown out.

Congressman McCaul,
I am extremely disappointed to learn that you voted in favor of HR 1586 yesterday. My wife and I gave you our votes in hopes of having a representative that would help return some modicum of responsibility to our government. Instead, you let yourself get carried away in the emotion of a media-generated mob mentality to aim an unconstitutional tax at a specific group of Americans. Now that we know that legally binding contracts can be effectively abrogated by congressional fiat, what assurance do I have that the government won't change or invalidate the mortgage contract on the house I'm about to buy? What assurances can you give my family that the government won't decide to reach even deeper into our pockets, just because of who I work for, what church I attend, where I live, who I vote for, what views I hold, or just because they want to?
It is bad enough that our government is doing what Alexis de Tocqueville feared would be our end when he wrote, "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money." But it's far, far worse than that when Congress begins using the tax code as a punitive weapon.
I understand that this measure enjoyed a significant level of popular support. However, that is no excuse for supporting it yourself. It shouldn't matter what the polls say; if a measure is wrong and unconstitutional, it should not be law. Isn't that precisely why we have a constitution? To protect us from mob rule and the tyranny of the majority?
I hope that you'll see from my letter and those of your other constituents that we crave representation that will restore responsibility, respect for the Constitution, and governance by principle rather than emotion to Congress. I will be looking for someone to oppose you in the Republican primaries next year if you cannot demonstrate these qualities through your votes.
Sincerely,
David Merriman

Does anyone speak my language?

2009-03-19T16:12:00.002-05:00

If I told you

[a-zA-Z_][a-zA-Z_0-9]*($[^)]*$)?(\.[a-zA-Z_][a-zA-Z_0-9]*($[^)]*$)?)+

would you understand what I mean?

Sometimes I feel like only the computer truly understands me...

DISCLAIMER: No, I am not actually feeling depressed or alone. But I am a computer programmer, and sometimes we have to type ridiculous things to get our work done. This one such example from today, and I felt like sharing. ;)

Oh, and bonus points to the first person who can tell me what kind of syntax that is. Double bonus for what it does. :D

Inspector Hector

2009-03-15T22:35:00.003-05:00

It all started back when it was one of the first times David ever visited my family in Houston. While we were both brushing our teeth, David asked "What is that?" "INSPECTOR HECTOR!" I replied. It was really really funny, I tell you. I don't know why, but it stuck. We often joke sometimes while were brushing our teeth that we need to get some "INSPECTOR HECTOR". (you have to say it boldly, with a mexican accent) It's basically this mouth wash that you swish around in your mouth and it turns your teeth blue. Then, when you're done brushing your teeth, you check to make sure you got all the blue off. If you did, then you successfully brushed your teeth! If not, you die....no, you have to rebrush your teeth or you will look silly. ANYWAY!!! Last week, we had an inspector to inspect our house...hahaha! Now you see where this is going! :) It was awesome. An entire week prior to the inspection I teased david that I was going to accidently slip, with my ADDness (if that's a word) and exlaim at the top of the stairs "INSPECTOR HECTOR! WE NEED YOUR HELP!" I didn't, but it was funny. I had to keep from laughing the entire time we watched him "inspect".

PS- his name wasn't Hector...I was hoping we could find one that was named Hector, but it just didn't work out. :/ John was still cool though.

HAPPY BDAY!

2009-03-15T22:15:00.003-05:00

Y'all probably think I'm a crappy wife b/c I haven't posted anything about David's bday. Things have just been crazy around here. I've been studying like crazy, actually working, AND getting everything worked out with the house. There was also added drama about our apartment...we were trying to get out of our lease early by threatening to sue b/c of the mold issue.. yeah, lets just say, it didn't work. lol But anyway!

We both had to work on David's bday, so when I got home from work, I took him out to dinner to a restaurante called Rudy's. They have the worlds best BBQ. It's pretty darn amazing... It's very casual but totally worth going to for a special occasion such as this! I wanted to bake an amazing cake (and be more like "Mandy, the wonderful cooking wife") lol but I didn't have enough time :(. So off to HEB I went to buy a little cake. (It tasted really good, by the way.) We had fun, at least I thought so. Maybe next year we can have more family here to celebrate....SINCE ALL Y'ALL SHOULD MOVE TO TEXAS! Happy Bday Davidey! te amo, mi amor!

Recession? We're not participating!

2009-03-11T14:47:00.004-05:00

So, I've just realized that we're doing something fairly atypical: we're buying a house in the middle of a recession. I've had a lot of people come up to me saying, "I can't believe you're doing that." Then, after I explain how good the market is, the kind of deals you can get on a loan, and how it may be the best way to protect your assets from inflation, they're like, "Oooooh, I get it. Good for you!"

We are very optimistic people. We're not being crazy; we're prepared for the worst, trust me. And we're gonna keep getting more prepared. (Especially since the new house has a huge pantry that will be great for food storage!) But we're not going to give into the fear, doom, gloom and depression we're seeing all around. That's not what Americans or Christians have ever done in the past. Why should that change now? We're optimistic about the future, and we have faith that it'll work out for the best if we follow the Spirit. And no matter what happens, we love each other. Nothing can change that, and as long as we have that, we'll be happy.

So, America's having a recession? Too bad - we're not participating!

Trogdor! (22 points)

2009-03-08T19:49:00.005-05:00

It's too bad this isn't legal - possibly the coolest scrabble opportunity ever!

Trogdor!

As a bonus, ruin is right next to it. Perfect!

Thanks to Mom for the birthday presents! I got Scrabble, Monopoly, Risk, Clue, and Mouse Trap for my birthday, and we've been enjoying it. Thanks Mom!

Worst. Hand. Ever.

2009-03-07T22:32:00.002-06:00

Worst. Hand. Ever.
...Except maybe the last one, where I had 2 u's, an a, and 4 i's. Ridiculous. I guess when Ashley says she's the luckiest woman in the world, this is what she meant...?

Making An Offer They Can't Refuse

2009-03-06T10:44:00.007-06:00

I apologize if anyone has been annoyed all the political stuff that's been on here lately, but I really think it's important to get the word out on this stuff. America is paying a very high price for ignorance right now.

But now we're back to our regularly scheduled program. The big news is that Wednesday we made an offer to buy a house that we love!

Isn't it wonderful?

We should be hearing back within 24 hours or so of this posting. Ashley and I both love it. It's big enough that we may never have to move. :) Hopefully it all works out! Wish us luck!

P.S. If anyone wants to be our future neighbors, there is another awesome house right across the street for sale. It's the same plan as the other house that we loved but decided not to get. Mom, Dad? You're getting close to retiring, and I just know you'd like to live our your Everyone Loves Raymond fantasies... ;)

Holy crap! Actually, now that I think about it, an older version of Dad could play Raymond's dad very, very well...

UPDATE: After some counter-offering and other realtor back-and-forth, it looks like...

WE GOT THE HOUSE!

We'll be closing in about a month, if all goes well from here. Wish us some more luck!

By Their Fruits Ye Shall Know Them

2009-03-02T11:23:00.002-06:00

Dow Jones Industrial Average, November 4, 2008: 9625.28

Dow Jones Industrial Average, March 2, 2009: 6832.51

Difference: -2792.77, or -29%

Is that the change you voted for, America?

I'm just sayin'...

Hey Washington DC - This Is How A Budget Works!

2009-02-26T18:36:00.004-06:00

My fellow Americans, I want to share with you the principle of budgeting. You hear the word budget used all the time by politicians; in reality, they have NO CLUE what a budget is! See, a budget is something that helps you know how much money you have and what you can spend it on, so that you don't spend more than you have. The government does nothing of the sort, and I am offended by their use of the word. They should call their "budgets" something else, like "ridiculous and unnecessary spending plans".

Above is a screenshot from our family's budget program - which I wrote myself - showing our food budget since I got the program up and running at the start of August. We sat down to look at things when we decided we wanted to get into a house, so we could make sure we were saving plenty. Look what we found - in September, we spent almost $600 on food! We looked more closely, and saw there was some emergency spending when we stockpiled food in case Ashley's family had to stay with us during hurricane Ike. But still, we saw this as an opportunity to save. So we set our target for food (under $400), and set some rules to get us there. And look at the results! We're down around $300 for the last 3 months. We still eat out, we still go on dates, we just became more conscious of what we buy and make the most of what we do.

As a result of doing this for all our expenditures, despite paying for plane tickets, Christmas gifts, trips to Houston, Ashley getting practically no hours at work, a 5% pay cut for me at work, the $4 gas era, and the tanking economy which slashed my February bonus big time, we have saved - that means budget surplus, for you Washington DC types - at least 14% of my take-home pay every single month for a house. And that doesn't even count the funds we've been building up for medical expenses and random emergency expenses. Isn't that great?

When I was the financial secretary of my mission, I learned a lot about money management. One of the first things I had to do was figure out how to slash our telecommunications budget in half, as well as other budget shortfalls. I did a whole lot of research - luckily, we had 3 years of old bills and receipts I could go through by hand. With the people at the church offices, we figured out a whole lot of things that were accounted wrong, and other ways the mission could save money.

Later, I got an opportunity from the mission president to accompany him on a mission tour, and teach the missionaries what I had learned. Because of the missionaries' response to that, we actually ended up with a surplus in our budget, and were able to replace a whole bunch of old pillows, mattresses, and other things that needed fixing in the apartments. That was all in about 6 months. Afterwards, in my last area, me and my companion were able to eat like kings on 75% of our food budget, just because we were smart about it. And we ended up really needing the savings for bike repairs, so it saved our butts. (Literally. I broke my my bike seat, among other things, in a crash. Hehe...)

You wanna know what I taught the missionaries? Basically, knowledge is power. And knowing how much you have, and how much you will have to spend, gives you a lot of power. It gives you the power to save money. It gives you the power to relax about your financial situation. It gives you the power to trim your expenses - you have to know what they are first! It gives you the power to earn interest instead of pay it. It gives you the power to get out of debt. It gives you the power to be prepared for emergency of disaster. It gives you the power to improve your quality of life. It gives you the power to be charitable. It gives you power to take control of your life! It's too bad our country is setting the worst possible example for everyone. I encourage everyone to figure out a budget and stick to it - maybe even undershoot it. You will be amazed by the change you'll see. Less stress, more money, more savings, less expenses, less interest... It's great.

We should hold our government to the exact same standard. How do we do that? To start, we need to vote out every single member of Congress - Democrats, Republicans, whoever - that voted for the current stimulus bill. That was just a shameful waste of your money. If your senator or representative is unlikely to be contested by a member of the opposite party, you need to get them early, in the primaries. Replace them with someone that promises to balance the budget. Second, we need a president that has the chutzpah to veto any bill that runs a deficit. Don't believe that can be done? Here in Texas, it's illegal to run a deficit. Unlike California, which is $42 billion in debt, we have $6 billion in savings, just in case. And amazingly, we have no state income tax, either! How do we do it? BUDGETING! We make a realistic budget, and we stick to it! But who is out there that can and will do this? I'll give you some names of governors, former and current, who already did. Mitt Romney is famous for this, in government, business, and the Olympics. Sarah Palin is doing it in Alaska. Bobby Jindal is doing it in Louisiana. This are the people we need in charge. And we need to put them there.

...and I'm done. G'night everybody!

NEMO'S BIRTHDAY

2009-02-22T22:27:00.001-06:00

I wasn't going to do this.....BUT since Nemo decided to call me and accuse me of posting this video on facebook when I hadn't...I shall post it on my blog :D mwahahahahahah I don't mean to brag or anything, but I think that my photoshopping skills are up there with Kevin's... although, Kevin did do some pretty awesome work on Rachel's pic. Y'all are welcome to vote on whose photoshopping expertise is superior. ;P

Happy 222 Day!

2009-02-22T12:33:00.000-06:00

On this very special day, 2/22, some of us like to celebrate more than just George Washington's birthday. This goes out to all the alumni of the greatest apartment ever assembled, Tingey 222! We're all about 7 years older now. That's unfortunate, but I'm not too worried about it! Some things may change; some of us married burger queens get married and quarter-japanese girls, others of us were just happy to finally be married. Other things stay the same; Weezer is still putting out great music and we're still the coolest people we know.

Here's to 7 more years, wherever you are, guys! Giddyup!

Celebrating

2009-02-22T12:19:00.010-06:00

So, to celebrate our anniversary of engagement, we went to the dentist! It was awful, really. I hate going to the dentist...but I sucked it up and made an appointment :P I was like, okay, I'll be okay as long as I don't have a cavity! A couple years ago I got my first cavity, and I'll admit one tear may have escaped. lol I can't stand the thought of having a huge needle stuck in my gums! Anywhere else is okay...but not gums! After the x-rays, the dentist gave the good news that I no cavities!!! I was so happy! Then after probing around in my mouth she broke my heart (extra drama added for an anonymous friend...who shant be named), and told me that I did have one! I was mad b/c she lied to me, bottom line. lol anyway, I thought it was pretty messed up b/c, in my opinion, my hygeine is better than David's and yet I HAVE THE CAVITY??? NOOO!!!! He had none; not one! So the next morning, I woman'd up and let them stick me and drill me until there was no more to drill. hahah (Sorry, I'm sleep deprived and a little hyper) I survived-End of story. This picture shows our clean teeth!
So, to celebrate our anniversary of engagement more appropriately, we attended a ballet of Hamlet! I got free tickets from Capital Idea (my scholarship). Surprisingly, I didn't have to do much convincing to get David to tag along! Most men would kick and scream if they had to go to a ballet, but I have a wonderful husband. <3 Valentines ended up being quite lovely, despite the fact that I had to work at the hospital from 7am-7pm. I was pooped by the time I got home, so a couple days later, David took me out to dinner at Chuy's and then to a movie. That was all his idea, by the way. Isn't he wonderful?! He remembered that I said I would like to go see Coraline because I read the book when I was younger, and really liked it. It was in 3D, which was pretty cool. It was pretty good. From what I remember, it followed the book pretty closely. We got to keep the cool 3D glasses. They made us look pretty cool. lol We had fun together. :D

Here are a couple more pics on the way to the ballet:

Finally! Rick Santelli Says What America Feels!

2009-02-19T22:30:00.001-06:00

Are you feeling like you're all alone in your rage and hatred of the new socialist America Obama is trying to create? Well, you AREN'T! Check out this epic rant from CNBC's Rick Santelli!

Can I get an AMEN?! Heck yes! Why SHOULD we subsidize the mortgages of illegal immigrants?! And why should we prop up failed business models?! Why should I have to pay for the fact that the government pushed businesses to the brink of destruction and is now blackmailing them into socialism with bailout money?! This is the United freaking States of America, and we just don't DO that kind of crap! Leave that kind of BULL to China, or Cuba, or Venezuela!

So, what should you do? You need to go here and voice your support! And you need to tell EVERYONE YOU KNOW to do the same! Second, go here and email CNBC and tell them to make sure Santelli keeps his job, because you know the liberals are NOT gonna approve of what he did. Finally, make your voice heard on this insanity wherever you can: get involved in your local political primaries to make sure we can get some good, hard-core fiscal conservatives running in the 2010 elections.

MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD! Down with this socialist CRAP!

Blogger Hacking - Chronological Order

2009-02-14T09:22:00.007-06:00

So, for the last 10 years, I have kept a journal. Except for the 2 years I was on my mission, I have always done it with a computer. Actually, I even did it with a computer for the 8 months I was in the mission office, to tell the truth... At first I used Wordperfect, but that got really long, and long files are a pain in the butt to open. Then I converted it to HTML files, and I would hand-edit an index I made.

Then I started learning about PHP and MySQL, and I fired up my own webserver and made what was basically a blog program. It was nothing compared to Blogger, but it kept all my journal entries all nice and neat, let me add them, search them, read them in chronological order, and jump around by date. It was wonderful, but not very easy to customize the layout, and I could only get at it from my home computer.

Blogger solved all of these problems for me - EXCEPT the chronological order part. Blogger posts things in reverse chronological order. And you can reverse the order of the archive, but not the actual posts. I searched all over the Internet for a widget or gadget or straight up template hack that would post them in the order I wanted, but I couldn't find anything except for "Just change the dates!" Yeah, that doesn't work very well for a journal, where dates matter. So, I made my own, and I'm writing about it here so that hopefully all the other frustrated people can benefit.

It turned out to be pretty simple. Go to your blog's Layout tab and click Edit HTML. Scroll all the way to the bottom, and find where it says </body>. Now, just before that, paste this code:

<script type='text/javascript'>
  var Blog1 = document.getElementById('Blog1');
  var postContainer = Blog1.childNodes[1];
  var first = postContainer.firstChild;
  var child = first.nextSibling;
  var childNext = null;
  var classes = '';

  var dateHeaders = false;
  while (child != null) {
    if (child.className == 'date-header') {
      dateHeaders = true;
      break;
    }
    child = child.nextSibling;
  }

  child = first.nextSibling;

  while (child != null) {
    if (child.className != null) {
      if (child.className.match('date-header') != null) {
        childNext = child.nextSibling;
        postContainer.insertBefore(child, first);
        first = child;
        child = childNext;
      } else if (child.className.match('post hentry') != null) {
        childNext = child.nextSibling;
        if (!dateHeaders) {
          postContainer.insertBefore(child, first);
          first = child;
        } else {
          postContainer.insertBefore(child, first.nextSibling);
        }
        child = childNext;
      } else {
        child = child.nextSibling;
      }
    } else {
      child = child.nextSibling;
    }
  }
</script>

And that should do it! I'd love to get feedback from anyone who uses this; feel free to leave it in the comments section. You can see it in action here: http://reversepostorder.blogspot.com

More sickness!!!

2009-02-07T16:50:00.006-06:00

So, David and I have been sick with Cedar fever for the past month. On top of that, David was sick a couple days ago with what I thought could have been the flu. I didn't worry about catching it because I got my flu shot back in November or so. Well, somehow I got sick. I don't know if I caught it from David or someone at school...couldn't have been from work since THEY NEVER PUT ME ON THE SCHEDULE ANYMORE! (sorry, had to get that off my chest...I just got off the phone with the hospital and they left me off the schedule once again for next month)

Back to my story....At first I thought it was just my allergies really flaring up. A couple days passed and I thought it had progressed into a head cold. Then this morning I woke up and had such difficulty breathing that I had to use my albuterol inhaler. It sucked. lol It's important that I know for sure that I don't have bronchitis or the flu b/c #1 it could progress into something serious, if I don't take care of it soon (since I have asthma) and #2 I can't work in the nursery on Sunday....although, it has been crazy with 20+ nusery kids and only 4 adults... it would lighten the load if they all got sick....NO! Bad thoughts! lol just kidding :P

Anyway, to keep it short we went to the doctor today and it's negative on the flu, negative for bronchitis... but I do have a virus. That means there is nothing the doc can give me to make me feel better. :( The ony thing I can count on is Mucinex and Benadryl, to treat the symptoms. I have heard from so many people how absolutely WONDERFUL Mucinex has worked for them. But after using it, I'm so disappointed! I guess it makes me feel a little better, but not great like it has worked on everyone else. Oh well. We'll see how long it takes for me to fight this crud off.
P.S.- You can click on the hearts over to the right with my valentine dog! It sounds like glass shattering :) It's pretty amusing for me, at least.

Sick Day...

2009-02-05T11:57:00.002-06:00

Well, I don't know whether it's the cedar or the flu, but something kicked my butt pretty good yesterday, and all the drugs in the world couldn't get me in to work. So I took a sick day and Ashley took care of me. :)

Ashley is so wonderful at taking care of me when I'm sick. She makes sure I take medicine that makes me feel better even when I'm trying to "take it like a man" and do without. She makes food for me, checks up on me, and keeps me warm and comfortable and entertained. And even though she had an English class, she was gone for no more than 20 minutes! See, they were editing their papers with the professor, and he asked for volunteers to go first. Ashley wasn't scared, and instead saw it as an opportunity to leave faster and get back home to me, and so she went first. This is exactly why Ashley is going to be so good in her nursing career: she's very good at caring for other people, and also making them feel cared for. All of her patients (including me!) love her for that.

Isn't she great? If you're a man and you're jealous reading this, good. You should be. If not, you're probably using the word "man" very loosely when applying it to yourself.

P.S. I'm feeling much better now and I'm back at work. Thanks again Ashley! I love you!

Shout out!

2009-02-01T18:50:00.003-06:00

Shout out to my parents! I just want to say that this is such a cute pic of my parents! I love this picture of them! They took this at a football game out in the cold, and they still look fabulicious! lol :D

This Plant Is Evil!

2009-01-19T13:29:00.005-06:00

My friends, this is Juniperus ashei, commonly known as the mountain cedar, and it is EVIL!

Allow me to explain why. Previous to moving to Texas, I had no known allergies. Nothing. I was invincible to anything nature decided to throw at me. But last year I had some itchy eyes, and was trying to figure out the cause, and the doctor told me it was probably a cedar allergy. I got some eye drops, used them once, and I was completely fine.

However, now, for the last two months, I've woken up really congested. (Ashley can tell you that the process of me becoming decongested is not pretty.) And today, I woke up with bad congestion and my eyes have itched all day, with no help from the magical eyedrops. I suppose they did expire in September, but still... Nothing. Worse, Ashley hardly slept at all and has much worse symptoms than me. She was sneezing like crazy early in the morning, and feels a lot crappier than I do.

I never pay attention to the allergy forecast on the news, but today had me curious, and so I looked. The cedar pollen level is at 18,330. To put that in perspective, cedar is considered "Very High" when it's above 1,500. So currently we're dealing with 1200% of what's considered "Very High." That sucks. I don't like it one bit. And therefore, I have a request to make of everyone.

If you see a tree like the one above, burn it. Burn it, and burn all its friends, and salt the earth so that nothing can ever grow there again.

P.S. What makes this situation even more gross is that fact that the pollen that's infesting my breathing air is basically tree sperm. That's nasty - you trees need to keep your reproductive systems to yourselves, or at least outsource to the bees instead of the entire freaking atmosphere.

P.P.S. Here's a video of the mountain cedar pollinating, so you can see what I'm talking about:

Early Christmas

2008-12-18T11:01:00.011-06:00

On Saturday we decided to ditch our ward Christmas party to have an early Christmas. David was just too excited about exchanging gifts... he couldn't wait until Christmas. ;P So, I said "I guess I'm up for it." hahaha I'm just kidding. It really was his idea! First, we made gingerbread houses (something I had never done before). David made a really awesome two story castle/dream house, and I made a mobile home ;) I don't know where the idea came from... It was really fun to make though.

4.0!!!

2008-12-12T11:12:00.004-06:00

Ashley doesn't know I'm posting this, or else she would stop me. But I'm at work, so she can't. Mwahahaha!

So, the semester of school is finally over, and the results are in (unofficially): despite having finals right after Thanksgiving weekend, not having a lot of time to study because of travel on weekends and lots of other random stuff that happened, taking Microbiology and Human Growth and Development at the same time, and having one professor that barely speaks English and another that's very disorganized, Ashley has scored her second consecutive 4.0!

Congratulations baby! I'm so proud of what you've done this semester, and I want everyone to know it! I love you!

P.S. This means that Ashley has some free time on her hands, finally. So, if you ever wanted to bug her about something but didn't want to interrupt her studying, what are you waiting for?!

Six Months!

2008-11-10T21:33:00.003-06:00

As of today, Ashley and I have been married for 6 months! And we haven't even killed each other yet! So whoever bet on that outcome, pay up. ;) It's kind of a crazy time right now, so we didn't do anything too fancy to celebrate. In the morning, Ashley had to go have blood drawn for some lab tests (she HATES doing that), I had to work and she had school until 6:00 PM, and we're busy getting ready for her next test on Wednesday. She also had a test today, and knocked it out of the park! She's so smart! I love her!

However, we did sneak out to Fuddrucker's for dinner. I've never been a huge burger fan, but Ashley loves it. We've been there a couple times before, and the place is growing on me. I recommend the ribeye steak sandwich.

We're gonna go back to studying, but happy 6 monthaversary to us!

An Obaminable Choice

2008-11-07T20:25:00.002-06:00

So, the election is over, and the results are in: the majority of the nation was completely duped into making a completely abominable -- err, Obaminable -- choice. And I'm sure someone will call me a racist for saying so, but I don't care. We're going on record as saying we voted against Obama not because he's black, but because his policies are abominable. They are so bad, we've invented a new word for them: Obaminable!

But what could possibly be so bad about the media's anointed messiah? We'll we'd all know, except that the media hasn't been doing their job in a good long while, so most people know nothing about him. Here's the highlights:

Obama says he'll give a tax cut to 95% of Americans, meaning anyone making less than $250,000. Of course, what he didn't tell you is that taxes are going up on everyone making more than that. And that that also includes small businesses that employ millions of Americans. I can't think of a better solution to an ailing economy, can you? Taxing small businesses? Genius!
Obama has said before that he wants to negotiate with our enemies abroad. I don't know how you negotiate with someone who wants you dead. Say, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, president of Iran, who is pursuing nuclear weapons and has sworn to wipe Israel off the map. How do you negotiate with that? "Okay, what if you only nuke half of Israel?" "90%." "75%?" "Done." And next CNN reports on Obama's version of "I have achieved peace for our time," only to be interrupted by breaking news of bombs falling on Jerusalem. Or New York. Or who knows where else.
Obama wants us to be free from foreign energy, in ten years. Sounds nice - but how do you do it? He's pushing for subsidies for "renewables" more than anything, meaning wind and solar. Anyone who knows anything about the energy industry knows that's ridiculous. Even if building those facilities was completely free, we still couldn't meet our needs with wind and solar. The answer is nuclear, but before we can get those up and running, we need more oil. We can get it from here if we'll just try. It'll take a while, sure, but let's use everything we got. Instead, Obama has admitted he plans on bankrupting the coal industry through carbon cap laws. Wonderful - let's destroy our principle source of energy while chasing a energy castle in the sky.

I could go on - and I probably will. But these are things you didn't hear during the campaign because Obama would never admit it and McCain's campaign didn't have the sense to go after it. We all need to prepare for 4 years of Obaminable policy - as well as drumming up support for good men with sound policies to bring positive change to Washington in 2010, by replacing the ones that have lost touch inside the Beltway, no matter what party they are from. This starts at the local level in your party caucauses, especially if you need to get rid of an incumbent from your own party. The rebuilding of the conservative movement needs to start now, and it needs to start with each of us, from the ground up.

...and, I'm done. :-)

For now...

Squier babies

2008-10-30T23:56:00.008-05:00

Catching up photos

2008-10-22T10:19:00.018-05:00

I've gatta catch up on the pictures I have taken in the past couple of months. I decided to use my makeup (the one with all the assorted colors that I never wear) to make us look like true BYU fans during the football game! (It only looks like he is wearing lipstick, but only because I smooched him!)

David's mom brought me back a beautiful Italian scarf! I wanted to show my appreciation by taking some pictures of us wearing it. I took a picture of me but it didn't come out too well. ;P David is much more photogenic!

My cutie just working on the computer! I blindsided him with the scarf!

Isn't he so great!? My baby puts up with a lot! I LOVE HIM! ;D

Midweek Vacation!

2008-10-18T22:59:00.003-05:00

This week we decided to go on a little vacation in the middle of the week. The occasion? Well, a while ago, we decided we were going to go to the BYU game at TCU, since it's the only time they would be playing within a couple hundred miles of us. Since it was a Thursday game, I was trying to figure out exactly how that was going to work, especially since I also wanted to go to the team fireside the night before the game. I asked Ashley, "Is there anything cool to do in Dallas?" And we both answered at the same time:

The Dallas Temple!
See, the Dallas Temple is actually where Ashley and her family were sealed together back in 1999. So we thought it would be cool to go back there and go through it again. It was a great experience!

Then, we changed into our game attire and headed to the BYU game.

Now, the traffic was bad, and the final score was worse, but we had a good time. We got home around 3 AM Friday morning, and I was back at work for 9 hours the next day. And honestly, it seemed like everything that could go wrong during the trip did go wrong. But it was all worth it! We had a great time together.

Undercover agent

2008-10-15T10:34:00.006-05:00

Okay, I know some of you out there have heard the rumors. I can now come out and confirm these rumors. Yes, David has gone undercover for the past 3 months in Iraq. He may be a mild-mannered computer programmer by day, but by night he's an invincible counter-terrorist undercover super-secret agent. I can't say too much about how it's going, but check out this article.

Frog kisses!

2008-10-09T12:50:00.003-05:00

There is a really pretty trail behind our apartment complex and the other day I found a frog! I was so excited! :) So I caught it and David took a pic....and NO I didn't really kiss it. Gross!

Good Luck Charm!

2008-10-01T21:50:00.004-05:00

So, I noticed something very, very interesting recently. Out of all the BYU games Ashley and I have watched together, BYU has always won. And yet, until the recent slaughter of UCLA and Wyoming, they've all been very close! A blocked extra point at Washington, a blocked field goal at the Vegas bowl, a 5 point win against TCU... I thought about it a little more, and it seemed like our current win streak began about the same time that I met Ashley, actually.

So, I did some research to back up my superstition. BYU's last loss was against Tulsa on Sept. 15, 2007. (Yeah, that's right - over a year now, baby! Take that, haters!) You wanna know what happened the very next day? That was the first time Ashley and I ever experienced reciprocation of occipitation, to use some 222 lingo. Ever since then, BYU has not lost a game! And more than that, we started consistently pulling out the close ones! It's like, we finally have all the elements in place! A dominant line on both sides of the ball, huge talent at the skill positions, good special teams, a good secondary, and the best coaching staff possible. All we needed was that final piece. And that final piece was getting Ashley in my life!

"Oh, come on! That's ridiculous!" You may mock. But once I finally got in the game and got moving towards marriage like I was supposed to, look what happened! I know you think that there's no connection, but I beg to differ. I quote Collie 4:18 -

"When you're doing what's right on and off the field, I think the Lord steps in and plays a part; magic happens."

That's true in real life, too. I did what's right, and behold, a miracle happened: I found the woman of my dreams and married her! And if the Lord can make that happen, a undefeated season and a BCS bowl -- or, dare I say it, a chance at the championship game -- is nothing by comparison!

Magic happens.

I am a witness!

(While a lot of this post was tongue in cheek, I do think that Ashley has brought me the best luck I have ever had, and it's a miracle that I have her in my life. A BYU win streak is just one of the many, many blessings she has brought with her.)

The Squier Family

2008-09-21T19:10:00.003-05:00

This is a video I made of my cousins. They are so cute!

BYU DESTROYS UCLA! 59-0!

2008-09-15T21:41:00.006-05:00

So, Friday night I had a dream. Maybe it was because of the flag we hung up above our computer/TV earlier that night:

But in that dream, BYU scored like 70 points in their game against UCLA, and I was ecstatic. I told Ashley, "I really hope we drop 70 on 'em!" I thought we would win, and I believed we could win big, but 70 was a little high, even for my ridiculous optimism. Or was it...?

Well, by the time it was half time, we already had 42 points, and it was obvious that if Bronco Mendenhall was a complete jerk like Kyle Whittingham, we could have required a real quick upgrade for a third digit on the scoreboard. Seriously. When it was all said and done, it was 59-0 -- including a field goal block, just to show the world of doubting Herbstreits that that's what we do here -- and that's after pulling the starters midway through the third quarter. It was beautiful -- and it was UCLA's worst loss since 1929. Take THAT, all you haters!

And in honor of the beautiful, flawless victory, Ashley suprised me by painting her beautiful and flawless toes in a beautiful and flawless way. Check it out!

Isn't that great? I have the best wife in the whole wide world!

Loopy David during Ike

2008-09-13T14:57:00.005-05:00

Here are a couple pics of David last night. David was SO loopy! I wanted to stay up and keep an eye on hurricane Ike, because I was worried about all my family that lives in Houston. I finally gave up when my cute husband started rolling around on the floor acting like he was drunk... making fun of all the commercials....like he was 5 years old again. It was pretty amusing! haha But I felt bad, because he got up really early for work that day and I'm sure after a long day at work, he was more than ready for bed. And he says I get crazy when I'm sleepy... ;P

Sweet Justice! BYU Wins!

2008-09-08T17:10:00.002-05:00

photo credit: AP Photo/Scott G. Winterton, Deseret News

I just wanted to say, I am thrilled with BYU's crushing defeat of Washington last weekend. And aside from the blowout I wanted, I couldn't think of a better way to have it end. That's not because I like exciting nail-biters; I don't. It's because I just LOVE the irony of listening to all the whiny Huskies telling me that the refs stole the game from them. Here's why:

The unsportsmanlike conduct call at the end of the game, which forced a 35 yard extra point try, wasn't even a judgment call. It's explicitly in the rule book.
Washington received a total of 4 penalties in the whole game. All were the obvious kind, and one actually helped them (the intentional grounding call, which, if it were Max Hall, would have been ruled a fumble and upheld by "indesputable video evidence," and all you PAC-10 homers know it). They were not called for a single hold, despite numerous blatant holding violations, including the picture above.
Washington got what they deserved from their own corrupt officials! The PAC-10 requires their own officials at all home games. That cost us the Arizona game in '06, the UCLA game in '07, and almost the Washington game in '08. You've got no one to blame but yourselves!
We blocked the extra point! Whether it was from 20 or 35 yards out, we blocked it. We didn't just tip it either. That kick was dead on arrival. When my team gets screwed by the refs, the PAC-10 homers say, "Officials don't change the outcome of games; if you deserved to win, you still would have made the necessary play." (In the case of So'oto and Hall's non-fumbles of last year, the Matt Allen offensive PI and the flagrant no-call when Meikle got knocked unconscious on a fair catch, I respectfully disagree anyway.) So make the play! The officials did not rob you of possession of the ball or a touchdown or anything near the level they have robbed my Cougars. You have to make the extra point! It's as simple as that.
Outright national championships - BYU: 1; Washington: 0.

Bring on UCLA!

Gary-the newest member of our family!

2008-08-26T14:38:00.007-05:00

Last week my little brother, robby, came and spent a couple nights with us. (I'll tell more about that adventure later....still working on the video) ;P So, robby had this idea to go to Petsmart to buy me another fish. We had nothing else planned that day besides swimming for 8 hours (turning me into a lobster of course) so we were off!

By the time we got there and I had thought things through a little, I realized I didn't really want a new fish to take care of...We already have trouble remembering to clean the fish bowl we have now, with only one beta. Anyone who knows anything about Beta's knows that you can't put two in the same bowl-meaning we would have to put the new beta in a new bowl. Meanwhile, robby was hypnotized by all the different fish. He spotted some "really cool snails" for sale! He showed me and...it was pretty much love at first site. I knew that this would be the perfect addition to our family! I have always loved the little "sucker fish" (I don't know what they are really called) lol but that would require a a tank with a pump. We only have a couple cute fish bowls for beta's.

We got back home and were trying to find the perfect name for him. Myself, being a fan of Spongebob in my younger years, lol, agreed to the name robby suggested- "Gary". So there you have it. Gary, the newest member of the merriman family :D and for those of you who haven't met my fish that I got when I was a lonely single...this is Blanquita (in the pic below). I named her Blanquita because in spanish "blanca" means white-so I turned that into a nickname because when I bought her, she was so white/clear that you could see straight through her. You could even see her intestines. I felt a special bond because growing up, I was teased a lot for being so pale. Kids at school would call me albino, clear, whitey etc. So we have a lot in common. :P Hope I didn't bore you too much with my stories!

Date Night!

2008-08-25T20:51:00.002-05:00

Just a little snapshot of life from today. Tonight we decided FHE was a date night. We didn't do anything crazy; we just went to Gatti's Pizza. On the way home, we stopped by the pharmacy to pick up Ashley's perscription, and it took FOREVER! To make matters worse, Ashley needed to use the ladies' room about 5 minutes into the wait. 15 minutes later, it was about to be a national disaster! Finally we got the meds, made an emergency pit stop, and were on our way home. That's when we had this exchange, which we decided we had to share...

David: Isn't this a great date? A pizza buffet, medicine, and an emergency bathroom stop?
Ashley: We sound so old!

Yeah, I guess we do. But we're really not, I promise. Stay tuned for weekly updates about how Ashley's bad knee predicted the latest rain storm. ;)

From my cold, dead hands!

2008-08-21T10:46:00.005-05:00

Quick quiz: how can you use one of these to save the world?
Answer: you can't! It's a freakin' lightbulb!

So, on Monday, the apartment complex put a note on our door that basically said, "We know how to run your life better than you do. To that end, we will be invading your apartment, stealing all of your incandescent light bulbs (which only terrorists and Nazis use anymore, you environmentally insensitive clods!), and replacing them all with CFL bulbs. You are immune to Mercury poisoning by now, right? Well, either way, we're not liable for that just like we're not liable for the fact that our front gate hasn't worked correctly in the last year. How could we be? We were saving up to buy these CFLs for you so we can SAVE the WORLD!

"Plus, your electric bill will be lower by 33%! 'Kay thanks, bye!"

My response was basically this: "You can have my incandescent bulbs when you pry them from my cold, dead hands!" And to prevent them from entering with their special key, Ashley and I left the deadbolt locked. This meant Ashley had to go out the back door and hop the railing to get out and run errands, but the evil enviro-communist plot was thwarted. Long live full spectrum incandescent light!

So, some of you unenlightened (pardon the pun) people may be asking, "What have you got against CFLs, anyway? They're more efficient and last longer. What's not to love?" Well, let's run down the list.

CFLs, like any fluorescent light, contain mercury. Should one break, the mercury emitted exceeds EPA standards.
CFLs are not bright. I had one once, and to use an LDS analogy, it was like being in the terrestrial kingdom as opposed to the celestial glory of incandescent light.
CFLs emit a very narrow spectrum of light. The light makes you feel like you're in a warehouse, not in a home. It makes me feel "blotchy." (Ten points for the first person to get that movie reference...)
And I can go on... But I won't.

So, those are the practical reason. However, the most important reason is more of a philosophical reason: I do not compromise with something that I think is wrong. And I think this whole global warming hysteria is wrong. And so, even if it does cost me a few extra cents per month, I will stand my ground. Because really, that's all it will save; your lights are NOT the main source of power consumption in your home. It's your refrigerator, your AC, your microwave, your computer, your dryer, and your speaker system that do the bulk of the work.

Most of those things are rated in kilowatts, while your light bulbs are rated in watts. If I leave a 60 watt bulb on continuously for a whole month, that's 43.2 kilowatt hours, or approximately $3.28 in Austin, TX. A 20-watt CFL run for the same time costs $1.09. Your AC run continuously for the same time would be $136.80. Your refrigerator would be $29.55 (like, if you left the door open so it never turned off). Now, if you only a light for, say, 8 hours a day, the normal bulb costs $1.09 a month, and your CFL is $0.36, for a grand total savings of about 73 cents. "But it adds up, right?" Oh yeah. If you live to be 80, you would save $696.19 per bulb. Now that's what I call a retirement plan. I'll keep my full-spectrum incandescent light, thank you very much. Greater safety + better light - minuscule savings + pissing off environmentalists = win!

From my cold, dead hands!

How far will YOU go for BYU football?

2008-08-17T17:55:00.005-05:00

So, as you may have known, starting in 2006 the Mountain West Conference made the brilliant decision of getting its own TV network, The Mtn., to broadcast its athletic events. Unfortunately, when they made this deal, the contract that they got made absolutely NO guarantees of distribution. Therefore, even though BYU's 11-2 football seasons in 2006 and 2007 were absolutely amazing and merited extremely high rankings, nobody cared because nobody got to watch! For this reason, I flew from Austin to Provo to watch all but one of the BYU home football games last season.

However, starting August 27, DirecTV is picking up The Mtn. Clearly, this means that we must get DirecTV. I never even had to wonder, "Should I get DirecTV?" It was more like, "How far do I have to go to get DirecTV in my apartment? Who must I pay/bribe/torture/etc. so that I can have it?" So, earlier this month, we checked with the apartment complex, who gave us an okay provided we didn't drill into anything, and called up DirecTV to set up the appointment.

Unfortunately for us, the laws of physics governing orbital mechanics dictate that geosynchronous communication satellites can only be placed in orbit above the equator. Translation: if you live in the northern hemisphere, you better be facing south if you want DirecTV. Well, our apartment faces north. We tried every option we could think of, but none would pass both the apartment complex's rules and give us line of sight to the satellite. The only thing we didn't try (yet) is moving into another apartment in the complex. We seriously considered it, though.

However, this story should have a happy ending after all. As it always does, the Internet comes to the rescue!

See, starting in 2005, a device called a Slingbox has been on sale which allows you to stream video from a TV signal over the internet to a computer or, more recently, a mobile device. You hook the TV into it, you hook it into your internet connection, and you install a program at the computer which talks to SlingMedia's servers, finds your Slingbox, and establishes a connection. And, since my parents are getting DirecTV, being BYU football junkies themselves, I bought them a Slingbox. Assuming I can help them enough over the phone to install it correctly, we'll be able to watch my beloved Cougars roll through the 2008 season undefeated and unchallenged, all the way to a BCS bowl game, which will be mercifully shown on FOX in HD. :)

Gotta love technology!

True Love

2008-08-05T16:19:00.004-05:00

You know a man loves you when he will go as far as getting a facial with you to make you happy! Ladies, yall all know it's not as fun when you do this sort of thing alone... so, David joined me!!! I am a lucky woman. :) Now our skin is as smooth as a baby's bottom. (you know you enjoyed it sweetie!)

Shifting Gears

2008-08-04T12:07:00.003-05:00

In our latest developing news, Ashley has learned to drive stick! I know, it sounds surprising that a guy from the suburbs of Salt Lake City is teaching a Texan country girl to drive stick, but that's the way it is. Ashley's truck has no AC, and it's ridiculously expensive to fix that, so the only sensible solution is to teach her to drive my car. Since I walk to work, it doesn't inconvenience me at all.

We started Saturday. It was a little rough at first, until I told her she just needed to "feel the car." Kinda like Obi-wan telling Luke to trust his feelings during lightsaber practice with the blast shield down. After that, she got really good at starting from a stop. Then we went out on the road to let her practice shifting gears. We ended up making some drivers really mad, since she was really cautious about getting into the right gear and slowly letting out the clutch, but we made it home in one piece.

Sunday, Ashley was able to get us home from church without a single problem! I suppose she did shift into 3rd instead of 5th once, and 1st instead of 3rd once, but the real critical parts she did perfectly. Way to go Ashley!

Ashley and Rachel

2008-08-01T19:12:00.002-05:00

While David was in the other room with a headache, Rachel and I got a little hyper and decided to have a photoshoot. This is probably about half of the photos we actually took that night. :) enjoy! (this is what you get when you reunite 2 sisters) :P

The Dark Knight

2008-07-31T12:44:00.002-05:00

So, normally I don't do movie reviews or anything, but Tuesday night Ashley and I went on a date to see The Dark Knight. We LOVED it! It's pretty much the awesomest movie I've seen in a long time. It's got something for *everyone, and it's good for all 2 hours and 30 minutes that it runs. It's also a breath of fresh air for people who are sick of all the limp-wristed liberal pansies that want to negotiate with terrorists, or who frequently ask themselves "What Would Jack Bauer Do?" (Especially since the writer's strike deprived us of 24 this year... Boo!)

Anyway, it is now your solemn duty as an American citizen to go see this movie, and also to educated your fellow Americans on the importance and meaning of the themes portrayed therein, in case they missed it. You won't regret it, I promise.

*I should note by everyone, I mean "anyone who's not looking for a chick flick." I mean, seriously - it's a Batman movie. If you want to see if Batman gets the girl, you should do a little comic book / cartoon show research. Batman never gets the girl. If Batman got the girl, he would cease to be Batman. And being Batman rocks!

Loopy Ashley

2008-07-29T23:03:00.003-05:00

So, last night, as usual, Ashley got a little loopy, and said something hilarious I wanted to share with everyone. As she was listing my good qualities, she says:

You're submissive, yet strong. Bold -- and italic!

Now, what that means is anyone's guess. I figured my response should be as female as possible:

Wait a minute - are you saying that I'm overweight and have bad balance?

...Good night everybody!

2008-07-23T16:43:00.014-05:00

My little sister, Rachel, is staying with us for a week. She really wanted to go to one of those places where you can paint pottery/ceramics. We used to go a lot when we were kids. Rachel decided to paint a monkey, and David and I painted mug/cups.

They are not bibs! They are mini aprons. lol

Davidey showing his BYU spirit! Gosh he's so cute!

..and that's how it's done :)

Computer Update

2008-07-18T11:20:00.002-05:00

Thankfully, as of this morning, the computer has now resumed some of its normal functions, including that of TV and web browser - those are the most important for Ashley and me, respectively. ;) Today I should get the word processor, DVD player, financial adviser, web server, and whatever else I normally have it do for me fixed over the weekend. Hooray!

Computers Have Feelings, Too!

2008-07-17T13:56:00.003-05:00

So, recently we posted about the laptop + Ramen noodles incident. Well, unfortunately that was not the end of our computer troubles. Now, the laptop is working fine. However, my desktop computer was very vocal about the lack of attention it was getting because of the new kid on the block. First, it started making grinding noises with its case fans. Then it started randomly restarting. Then, it would cry whenever we tried to put it to bed - not even kidding here. You would shut it down, and it would give you this incessant beep until you manually turned the power off. At least it's a computer, and I won't be jailed for doing that like I would if it were my child...

The final straw came when it refused to access the internet. So, last Saturday I began the process of backing up all my data, so that I could reformat the thing and get a fresh start. Well, halfway through the process I hear a loud popping noise. I thought, "That sounds a lot like a capacitor popping." (It would be too long a story to tell you why I'm familiar with that sound...) But the monitor was still on, the files were still transferring to the external hard drive, and all was well. Supposedly...

After I formatted the computer and installed Windows, I started getting the beep of death when starting up, not just on shutting down. And by Sunday, it wouldn't start up at all. Couldn't even spin the CPU fan anymore. This is what the front room looked like on Monday.

You know you've got a computer geek here - multiple keyboards, motherboard out in the open, tools everywhere, and yes, that's a bag of Lays potato chips over by the guitar. :-) (Notice the tangle of cables to the right - that's what our TV stand now hides beautifully.)

Anyway, as I was tearing everything apart to figure out what was up, I noticed something - the video card had a blown capacitor! (See Mom? My ears ARE good for something!) We replaced that Monday, but it still wouldn't go. So THEN I tore apart the power supply...

"Well, there's your problem!" I've circled it for you. That is another blown capacitor. There's two, actually, but you can't see the second one. And I have no idea how it happened....

Anyway, Tuesday we got a new power supply - no dice there, either. That would indicate that the motherboard has failed, so last night we got one of those. And finally, success! Never have I been more happy to see a Windows logo in my life. I guess my computer felt it was now sufficiently new to be able to look down upon its new, Ramen-consuming sibling.

...And now, to finish actually reformatting and reinstall everything. I will require the faith and prayers of all of you. ;-)

Home Improvement

2008-07-17T12:41:00.004-05:00

We now live in the same apartment that I lived in when I first moved to Austin. When you combine the fact that I am a guy with the fact that I don't really care how things look, as long as they work and are as neat as can be reasonably expected, you can imagine that there was very little decorating done before Ashley moved in.

One of the big problems is that the cable jack is very inconveniently placed way to the right of where you'd ever want to put a tv, computer, or anything else. This was not a problem for Bachelor David, who didn't think twice about having a huge tangle of cables as the very first thing you see when you walk in the door. But for the Merriman Family, it's an eyesore. Well, we saw a TV stand in a Bed Bath and Beyond catalog (we get like 3 a week in the mail) for cheap, and so we decided to get and build it together for FHE this week.

Here's Ashley putting on the finishing touches.

Here's a side-by-side of the box and the almost-finished product.

Funny story here. I saw what she was building, and thought, "That's upside down! The glass doors go on the bottom section, not the top!" So I subtly put the box up next to it for comparison and took a picture. Of course, it turns out that she was building it exactly like the instructions said, from the top down, upside-down, and it turned out perfectly - so the joke was on me.

We'll have more pictures soon of the other decorating we've done - enjoy!

Please Do Not Feed The Laptop

2008-07-03T23:17:00.004-05:00

The other day I was at work, instant messaging with my wonderful, beautiful, sweet wife Ashley, for whom we recently purchased a new Dell Inspiron 1525. I like it because it's got a Pentium Core Duo at 1.6 GHz and 3 GB of RAM. Ashley likes it because it's purple and has a matching bag. ;) Anyway, back to the story. Suddenly, she signs off without a warning, and I get a panicked call while I'm talking to my boss.

She spilled ramen noodles on the laptop.

I'll bet the conversation was pretty funny to hear from my boss's end of it. Anyway, I came right home. Ashley had turned it off immediately and hung it upside down so it could drain, which was good thinking. It then fell to me to take the thing apart and see what the damage was.

It was my first time taking a laptop apart. Pretty cool, but harder than you think... Once I got the keyboard off (which is what you see above), miraculously there seemed to be no real damage. We dusted some stuff off - I mean, who knows what effect MSG has on electronics? - put it back together, and have had no trouble since. Lucky us!

Oh, this should also set the record straight - I do not have long blonde hair. I have short, brown hair. And no, my hairline is not receding. Much.

Anyway, the moral of this story for the computer illiterate is that human food is not good for laptops - they need power and Youtube videos instead. And for the rest of you, please keep any liquids away from your electronics - and back up anything you have important if Ashley's coming to visit. :p

Squirrels!

2008-07-03T22:17:00.003-05:00

So, recently while spending wedding gift cards at Target to beautify our home, Ashley decided she wanted a bird feeder. I'm cool with that, as long as she agrees to clean up after our feathered friends... We got one, as well as some nails, a hammer, and a metal contraption to hang it out on our patio. (That was the fun part - my favorite presents are the ones that say "Some assembly required.")

Soon afterwards, Ashley had a day off from work, and so while she studied, she sat by the window with the camera, watching for birds. And guess what she found? Did you say birds? Wrong! Haha! Oh, what's that? You said squirrels? And that I gave it away with the title? Oh... Touche. Anyway, this is our friend Zatara, the squirrel, stealing our birdseed. He's learning to share, though, so we'll let him stay. Check out some of these awesome moves!

First, he climbs the wall, and makes sure nobody is looking...

...and then he leans clear out from the wall and holds on to the bird feeder (which is hanging, so it swings away from him) while he gets his meal...

...and then he literally hangs by his toenails to enjoy his spoils!

Yep - Zatara's got some serious moves! We have some more pictures of birds we'll put up later, but these are pretty much the best.

Now, for anyone else that wants to keeps squirrels out of their birdseed, I've done some reading on the subject, and there's a couple of things you can do. You can get one of these, which are supposed to be "guaranteed" squirrel proof. Of course, Ashley will tell you that it's not "cute," so it may not be the solution for you. You could also try this, or possibly even add your own chili powder or hot sauce. The reason being that birds cannot feel the hot sensation that comes from chili peppers, but squirrels can. Who knows if the squirrels here close to the border are used to it, but that's the word on the street - err, internet... If we get sick of Zatara, we'll break out the Tabasco. But for now, he's a welcome guest.

Not even photoshopped!

2008-06-26T22:38:00.003-05:00

David lets his true colors show at night... Gatta love him! :D What more can I say... :P

Bulk is Better!

2008-06-26T19:36:00.005-05:00

The other day, we were doing some cooking, and we ran out of soy sauce! So, we went to the store, and tried to find the best deal we could on it, and also make it so we wouldn't have to buy any more for a long time.

Well, this is what we found... No, it's not an oil can. It's a whole gallon can of soy sauce! And only 12 cents an ounce! Buying in bulk is better, even if the cashier gives you a funny look.

...Anyone need some soy sauce?

Our History: Why You Always Agree To Speak In Church

2008-06-22T16:10:00.002-05:00

Hey everyone! I'm David, and this is Ashley and I's blog. Apparently I'm in charge of all the writing here, so that means I get to tell about how Ashley and I became Ashley and I. :) (I suppose if she wants to make any corrections, she can add her own version...) Anyway, here we go!

I moved to Austin, Texas in late July of 2007, and began attending the local singles' ward. I had just graduated from BYU with a true bachelor's degree in Computer Science, and was hoping to get a fresh start on the whole dating thing. My plan was to give myself a month or two to "survey the landscape," and then jump in and go on a whole bunch of non-committal first dates to get to know the girls in the ward better. Also, I figured that if I knew a girl liked me, I'd move her towards the top of the list, after the ones I was personally interested.

Ashley, on the other hand, was living away from her family for the first time. They moved to Houston for her father's job right after high school graduation, and she stayed here for nursing school, living with a member of her family's ward. She started going to the singles' ward in early summer.

After about a month of living here, I some girls after me (apparently I was "fresh meat"), but none that I was really interested in. That's when I got a call from the bishopric, asking me if I would speak in church. I said yes, of course - that's the best way to see the ward, from the stand. ;) And while I was waiting to speak, suddenly this knock-out girl walks in and sits in the back... Later that day after a fireside, this same knock-out girl walks up, introduces herself as Ashley Hayes, and says she liked my talk.

At that point, we were both interested, but worried about scaring the other one off. But a Facebook message led to some instant messaging, which led to some math tutoring, which led to a date, and we were both very happy with how that went.

Unfortunately, I'm addicted enough to BYU football that I was flying back for all the home games, and that combined with all the other activities that were going on in the ward made me forget that you're kinda supposed to call after the first date to set up a second date... Ooops! Well, it all turned out okay. In late October, we ended up spending the entire ward retreat together, and immediately went on another date once we got back. Things were going pretty well.

The next day in church, I was sitting all by myself, but Ashley was too shy to come and sit next to me - and everyone let her know that was a big mistake. She felt bad, and to "make it up" to me, invited me to a Halloween party over the phone after church. That's when I had finally figured out that she felt for me the way I felt for her, and by the end of the conversation, we were a couple!

It would have been nice if the drama ended there. However, Ashley's evil landlady had been scheming all along to have Ashley marry her son when he got home from his mission. Tensions built between them, and so by the time she was going to make dinner for me that next Friday, she had been kicked out of the house! We found a place to crash, and so our first full Sunday as a couple was spent moving her to her friend Natalia's house - which was a lovely, 25 minute drive from where I was living - and taping up the window of her truck, which had been smashed so that someone could steal the radio the first night she was there!

A little later we went to Houston together to meet her family - and get the window repaired. Usually, a window is a good thing to have when driving through a torrential rainstorm, and a radio is good to have for a long drive. But honestly, we're both glad we didn't have either, because we got really close during that trip. Ashley got to meet my family later when we went up to Utah around Christmas time.

To make long story a little less long, we started talking about marriage in January and got engaged in February. Ashley got kicked out of the house again in March, so we found another place for her to crash, and I got to help her move twice within a week to make that happen. The wedding planning and invitations were finally finished in April, and we were married in May. And now that we're finally married, we've been happier than we've ever been in our lives.

Anyway, that's us! Stay tuned for more news and pictures, as well as the random occurrences of everyday life. What do I mean by that, you ask? Well, here's a perfect example:

Just yesterday, we went to the store, because Ashley was craving caffeine-free Pepsi. We grabbed some, and got in the Express Lane. The Express Lane is so named because it is supposed to be fast. It's supposed to be for the people that just needed a couple things and want to get on with their lives. It even has a sign that says "10 items or less," in plain English. (Since we're in Austin, maybe that should be in Spanish, too, but that's another rant... ;D) Two places in front of us, we see this guy. And he goes through with 17 items. We know, because we watched him slowly pull them out of his basket, one by one, and we counted for him, out loud. Hopefully we were just as annoying as he was inconvenient. ;)

Anyway, the moral of the story is, if you are asked to speak in church, you should do it. And if you liked a talk that was given, go up to the speaker and say so afterwards.

Also, if you hear someone counting out your purchases at the store, it's probably us - and you should get in a different lane...